After reading that i have realised i could very well be the women writting that! I loved my DD1 soooooo much, she was my everything, then i had DD2, while i still loved DD1 she did seem to be going out of her way to annoy me. Many people said it was attention seeking but i didnt believe it. After reading that, I now know that it was! I feel so horrible, i snap at her as well and then feel so horrible that when she is asleep ill hop into bed with her and cuddle, to try and make it up to her for being cranky with her. I will try and make more of an effort to show her how special she is to me.
I think all mums worry about how another baby will affect their first, and also wonder how they could possibly have enough love for a second baby. I definitely did. Then someone gave me a poem, which I wish I still had to share with you. It described my feelings like they knew me, then went on to talk about how the new baby brought their own bucket of love with them. There was no need to share the love for the first child, because there was another pool of love for the new baby. It was beautiful.
Then my second DS arrived and it did take me longer to bond with him, but I think that was more because he arrived very unexpectedly - 4 weeks early and a 3 hour labour - and it took me a little while to get back on track. My brain didn't quite catch up to what had happened straight away. DS1 was fantastic with his brother from the first day. He loved the baby, and didn't seem to feel threatened or replaced. The only thing that upset him was that I was in hossy for 5 days (as DS2 was early and they wanted to keep him in longer as a precaution). We had explained all about the new baby to DS1 while I was pg, but forgot to talk about mummy being away for a few days
Now I see my boys always playing together. Nearly every photo of them has them hugging each other or holding hands. They are such great friends. Whatever DS1 has missed out on by having a sibling, he has gained 10 fold in having a sibling.
I think everyone's experience will be different. But there is no need for a new baby to be a negative thing. I already know you as a great mum who is determined to do the right thing, and responsive to the needs of your DD. This won't change with another baby - you will still be you, and you will still do what you need to meet the needs of your DD1 and any siblings she may have in the future.
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