You poor thing. Both my boys self-weaned so I haven't been through this and can't give you much advice. But I can offer some hugs.

The plan sounds pretty good to me, although I'm not so sure about the set bed time. I've always found that the boys go down much more easily if we get the timing right in terms of their level of tiredness, rather than the time by the clock. Some days will be earlier, some later, depending on what has happened during the day.

The only other advice I can think of, is that if she doesn't like the soy milk, maybe you could try something else for her to drink. If other types of milk aren't suitable, maybe just water, and she could get her calcium from other sources.

I do wish you all the very best. This is a very difficult time for you, and I hope it eases soon.