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Thread: "I'll never ever..."

  1. #1

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    Default "I'll never ever..."

    I read an article in an issue of Essence recently and it got me thinking about how it applied to me...

    The article was about how readers' attitudes to parenting had changed since having kids. Was there something they had said they would never do, only to eat their words once baby was born? (Course they said it much more eloquently than that... )

    Got me thinking about how my own attitudes to parenting had changed... and how have yours?



    For me it would be:
    - I used to look down my nose at parents who put those backpack and leash combos on their children... "Can't you control your own child? How horrid that you have to use a leash..." And now, my monkey backpack and leash gets a run almost every time we go to the shops... it is the only way I can be sure my DD will stay within arm's reach! Otherwise she'd just run away - she's fearless!

    - I said I'd never co-sleep, for a variety of reasons... and now, with a winter baby as well as a toddler to deal with, I find it so much easier/warmer/more relaxing to feed him in bed and doze back off to sleep, before I know it he's been there almost all night!

    So what have you had to adjust? Rethink?

  2. #2

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    Ha, so many things! Discipline: First I thought I'd smack, rather than use time-outs (how pointless are time outs? How can they possibly work? That kind of thing). Then once S was born I realised I couldn't smack him, and then thought I'd never smack him (and I have, twice - both times when he bit me and I slapped him without thinking.... and felt AWFUL afterwards). And I we use time-outs a lot and they are very effective!

    I was happy about the idea of them sleeping in bed with us if they were scared or feeling unwell, turns out neither of them likes it and would prefer to sleep on the couch!

    I thought I would use sign with them and then found I just couldn't be bothered and we did fine.

    I thought I'd NEVER EVER leave my children in the car unattended, EVER, and I have, when I've had to fill up with fuel and I know that getting them out and taking them in is just going to be so, so hard, that I just lock them in and go and pay. (Mind you, I'm constantly checking out the window to see that the car is still there and I'm terrified something will happen, so I'm not sure if the stress of having them with me is more or less than worrying about them in the car on their own!!)

    There are so many other things, but S is going to bed and we're trying to get him to sleep in his bed rather than on the loungeroom floor... something else I never thought would happen!

  3. #3

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    Oh goodness, there are so many things!

    First one that comes to mind was that I thought I wouldn't let my child watch TV till they were two... That went out the window a few months ago, and I'm almost ashamed to say that sometimes I let him eat dinner with it on

    I'm sure there are many, many more... When I think of them I'll pop back...

  4. #4

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    Co-sleeping was it for me. I swore I would never ever do it. DD got to 7 months old before it happened. We went away with family and she freaked being in a strange place. I didn't want her to wake up her 18mo cousin, so I pulled her into bed with me to settle her. She's almost 17 months old now and still ending up in my bed

    But it is nice though!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by OceanPrincess View Post
    I read an article in an issue of Essence recently and it got me thinking about how it applied to me...

    The article was about how readers' attitudes to parenting had changed since having kids. Was there something they had said they would never do, only to eat their words once baby was born? (Course they said it much more eloquently than that... )

    Got me thinking about how my own attitudes to parenting had changed... and how have yours?

    For me it would be:
    - I used to look down my nose at parents who put those backpack and leash combos on their children... "Can't you control your own child? How horrid that you have to use a leash..." And now, my monkey backpack and leash gets a run almost every time we go to the shops... it is the only way I can be sure my DD will stay within arm's reach! Otherwise she'd just run away - she's fearless!

    - I said I'd never co-sleep, for a variety of reasons... and now, with a winter baby as well as a toddler to deal with, I find it so much easier/warmer/more relaxing to feed him in bed and doze back off to sleep, before I know it he's been there almost all night!

    So what have you had to adjust? Rethink?
    I still HATE those leash's sorry

    Im just amazed how little I knew about anything eg: breast feeding! Also I thought EVERY birth would end in being 'cut', thanks to all those morons that passed on their own bs opinions onto me, which then molded my tiny, young brain hahaha

    I crack up when I hear my sister with somethings. "Why do people stress about there babies breathing etc, its no different to having your partner go to sleep"

  6. #6

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    I used to roll my eyes (secretly) at parents with tantruming kids at the shops...now I really do feel for them (although not the ones swearing and saying awful things to their kids!) since DD chucked a major tantrum at Officeworks the other day and I raced out of there as fast as I could

  7. #7

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    I wasn't going to let my child watch TV before 1 and very little, if any, before 2... yeah right.

  8. #8

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    I thought I would never ever have DH bath the kids, make dinner, do the dishes, clean the house or fold washing after working all day if I was a SAHM. I thought that if I was at home all day that they should be my roles since I wasn't working. How clueless was I about how hard it is to be a SAHM!

    I never ever thought I would co-sleep or babywear.

    I never ever thought I would love my kids as much as I do or enjoy being a mum this much.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Me View Post

    I never ever thought I would love my kids as much as I do or enjoy being a mum this much.
    Amen to that!

  10. #10

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    I never thought I'd be a SAHM past initial maternity leave, I always thought I would go back to work full time. Here I am, having been originally due back this week, and very happily at home with my DD.

    I never thought I'd be so 'into' gentle parenting. The amount of times when DH and I have disagreed on some parenting thing or another and I've just had to say yep, i've changed my view since having her.

  11. #11

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    I thought I'd never let my child use dummies. DS started using them at 3 weeks old

  12. #12

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    I was never ever going to give my child a lolly while shopping or open something up before going through the check-out

  13. #13

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    hahaha! I thought I'd never use a dummy too and DS has had one since he was 3 days old

    Agree about thinking I wouldn't use TV. Some days he doesn't watch it but others it's on for half an hour or more.

    I used to think there's no way I'd survive without enough sleep. I never had a cut off date in my head but just held a firm belief that I'd really struggle with long term sleep deprivation. Well, it's been nearly 18 months (more if you count the last tri) and I'm still coping (just) and I try really hard not to let it affect my parenting.

  14. #14

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    I never thought I'd let my child have a soother but at 3 months he was on me constantly and I was ired of being a soother

    I never thought I'd let my child watch TV either until much older, but when I need to get stuff done a movie keeps DS from clinging to my legs

    I never thought I'd let my kids sleep in my bed but some nights it's just so much easier

    I never thought I'd let my child have treats until much older but with toilet training smarties were the answer for us and other small treats keep him behaving when we go out.....then there's the birthday parties and the treats start piling up.

    I never thought I'd let my child have undiluted juice until older (too much sugar) but juice boxes are so easy to grab and toss in the diaper bag.

  15. #15

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    I thought I'd never call the NHS advice line as often as I have done! My opinion was (and is) that kids get ill, it's normal, deal with it. However, I have a child who stops breathing properly when he gets "day off work" ill, which has resulted in a few hospital dashes.

    I never thought I'd get so ill that I needed to use the TV as a babysitter for a whole day while DH was at work. I honestly thought either I'd be healthy or PiL would want to do something with DS. I never thought I'd ring nursery asking if they could take DS short-notice tomorrow because I was bed-ridden and no-one else would have him.

    I never thought my son would put on make-up, or that I'd not tell him off for it. Not even very dark grey eye-shadow in his ears.

    I knew I'd end up doing TV - it happened at 6m, earlier than I'd thought, but not a "never ever" date. I wasn't fussed about co-sleeping either way (still aren't tbh unless one alternative is me not sleeping all night), I don't use food as a treat, DS did start himself on solids earlier than I'd wanted, but not so bad. I suppose I didn't plan for him to be in nappies past the age of 3, but again, always planned for when he was ready. I've also avoided star charts, although do let him have a star badge sometimes.

    I suppose I never, ever thought that DS would be an only one. That one still makes me sad.

  16. #16

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    I will never lie to my children ~ now I tell little white lies on a daily basis

    I won't Bf that's gross (ha) or i won't BF past 6 months ~ I BF all 4 all for varying time.. Longest was DS3 and DD 21 months and 21 months and 9 days.

    I will keep the kids Vegatarians till well over 1. We kept this up with Ds1, he didn't touch meat till over 13 months lol my other childrena ll had some meat around 9-10 months (in saying that though, DS1 was on formula by 3 months and I felt he didn't need the iron.. Where as my other 3 were all still getting booby juice..

  17. #17

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    I used to think smacking was a perfectly acceptable way to discipline a child.
    Now I know how useless it is - having done it a handful of times (each time I wasn't in control of myself) I know it just plain doesn't work and sends the wrong message to my kid.

    I thought I'd be a patient parent... my impatience astounds me some days.

    I always knew I would enjoy my kids. The reality is while I don't enjoy them ALL the time, they do delight me and fill my heart more than I could've imagined.

  18. #18

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    Fabulous thread!

    I used to be so judgemental about people who co-slept with their kids. FOR SHAME!! I LOVE IT!

    I have to also agree with the other ladies, I never thought I'd love my baby so very much. I knew I'd love her obviously, but not so intensely. I would do anything for her.

    Sue xx

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