I'm at a complete loss

[tippytoes]

WTF is wrong with those people?!

:yeahthat:
OMG - you go for support and get told this??!!! What load! I am still a new mummy but I can tell you this, it isn't your fault. It is what it is..... Don't all babes go through times like this? Mine does/is LOL. I hope your little one gives you some rest soon.
Rach xx

[gypsy79]

My DS stopped sleeping very well during the day at around 4-5 months. He couldn't resettle after a sleep cycle, so I was only getting 3 40-minute naps out of him. It was doing my head in too!

What worked for me was going back to wrapping him (angel wrap) for his day sleeps. We restarted that at about 6 months and he went to 2 hr naps! To start with I had to do controlled comforting (patting him to sleep while he lay in his cot, on his side) but pretty soon we didn't even need that.

Anyway, all babies are different, as I'm sure you know. I hope you find out what works for your DS!

[Liviam]

Thank you so much ladies I actually got a three hour block of sleep last night so i'm feeling less exhausted and ready to tackle another day with a better perspective thanks to you all. Wish me luck!!!

[Boo Boo]

hi, sorry this is a few days late....how have the last few days been for you?

The first thing that came to mind was to get him checked out by a paed chiro if possible as another poster mentioned, it might be just something is a little bit out of alignment.

In regards to 40 minute sleep cycles and being woken up by noise, etc, have you tried a cd player in his room, I have used Music for Dreaming from day one for DS.

Two sleeps sounds good. Depending on what time he wakes up from overnight I would probably give him 1.5 - 2hours from that and then an after lunch sleep and then activity till your night time routine starts.

I agree, walking to a park - at his nap time so he falls asleep then by the time you get there DD can have lots of fun at the park with you while DS continues to nap.

I remember and it still happens, DD has so much less of my attention now that DS is here, I used to get so cranky when I was trying to put DS down for a nap and she would be making loads of noise. It is hard. I am only just finding things easier now and DS is over one

Let us know how you go. Ignore any negative comments you get from people, they are not the ones in your situation, if they start up, tell them to make you dinner/do the cleaning to help you out or not say anything at all. I have had conflict with my DH on how I parent - co-sleep, rock them off to sleep, but I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing by my kids and won't regret it.

Good luck.
Laurin x

[Inertia]

Oh, Dan. What a horrible bunch of 'advice'. Stuff the lot of them! AFAIAC, there is no such this as controlled crying. There is just happy and sad. I sleep and feel better when I go to sleep happy. I can't imagine a baby being any different, so you are certainly not a bad mummy for wanting that for your son.

Now, Little Phe is exactly the same. Seriously. Its quarter past 11, and she is still fighting madly. I am barely allowed to put her down. Some times its not food, its not nappy, its not anything except for that fact that if its not mummy, its not good enough. Sometimes the pressure gets at me too.

With the co-sleeping. Do you have enough room in your room for a cot or toddler bed? We sidecared Harrys cot to our bed so he is still right next to daddy but not taking up any of the room on the bed. He loves it and we love it. Causes DH a few dramas getting up over night as only the very end of his side of the bed is open, but he is more than happy to do it for his son so that his baby can continue to co-sleep.

And here is the big one. Your DH needs to either support you in the decisions you make, or help you with the duties on any direction he wants to take your workload. Phoebe started becoming less clingy and could be left on her own for longer when OTHER people (such as DH) wentand picked her up when she cried rather than looked at me like I was her only parent. She goes to sleep faster in his arms then she ever does for me. As I carefully informed my husband a few weeks ago - his job as her father did NOT end with the orgasm.

[leckert]

I'm just coming out of a similar issue with my DS (only have one so far so can't comment on ideas to entertain/occupy your DD). I found that I went back to wrapping DS in a cot sheet for all his sleeps and we've started to get back to our "normal" sleep pattern with him, he's now starting to get back to 1- 3 hour sleeps (x2 minimum) during the day (used to be 20-45 min sleeps and only about 3 a day) and back to at least one sleep of about 5 hours (or more) at night. And I (& DH) gave up fighting DS when, although showing tired signs, he would fight the sleep thing for more than 10 min, left him go again at his toys and then try when the tired signs showed again (usually within an hour)

[Queen]

Sorry no real advice that has not been said, just wanted to say YOU ARE DOING A FANTASTIC JOB!!!
No one can be your DS's Mum better than you, no one knows what he needs more than YOU!
Hope things get better

[Janie]

Aw hun, don't have time to reply now, but subscribing to remind me to come back later! Know this - things WILL get better. I have no idea when, but they will. My DS was exactly the same (minus the 2 year old sister ) and although not perfect, he is a MUCH better sleeper now.

Just briefly, are there any food intolerances/allergies in your family? I ask only because babies with this often wake frequently etc. For us, removing the offending foods made an enormous difference to DS's sleep. He is also sensitive to salicylates, and sleeps TERRIBLY after having foods that are very high in them. Same with some food colours and preservatives etc, he is just so wakeful (and grumpy) if he consumes them.

BBL......

[Liviam]

Thank so you all so much for you support and help. We still haven't made any improvements in getting DS to settle/sleep for his day sleeps at all but I did have a really big honest chat with DH and told him how devestated I am that no-one is supporting me (even if they do think it's my fault) and the guilt spiral I've been on. He hadn't realised but now is much more understanding and so far (the last few nights) he has been helping me with the nights so I am getting some sleep, even giving DS a bottle of EBM so I can get a block. I'm feeling much clearer in my thoughts after getting some sleep finally. DS is also co-sleeping with us if I can't get him to settle after a few trys so in a way I guess we have made some progress. Plus we are still trying to work out some kind of routine and trying to get Will settled into that as well. Small little steps and one step forward two steps back BUT WE WILL GET THERE!!!
Thanks so much you gorgeous ladies!! I would be completely and utterly lost without you all here for me!!

[LimeSlice]

Just wanted to give you some s

So glad your DH is coming around and showing you the support you deserve x

[Janie]

Again, will come back , but I wanted to say I'm glad your DH is coming around . I really don't like to say this, please don't hate me, but some babies just really don't like routine, no matter what you do. I'm sure that must be incredibly difficult with a toddler as well, but sometimes you can kill yourself trying to fix something that just can't be fixed, IYKWIM?

[onthefly]

That's great Liviam!
Sometimes I think it really helps to change perspective - rather than trying to fix the child, we work around them (ie, dad gets up, cosleep, whatever) and then the child fixes themselves (with time...)
I'm really glad to hear that you're getting more rest.