I'm so sick of doing this every day NEED HELP!.. video attached

[lestyrox]

oops sorry the video should work now... i had it on private so no one on myspace could see it but of course that ment no one on here could see it either i'll change it to private again in the next day or so because i don't want it circulating around the net iykwim

I feel a bit funny posting a video of my son but i really need people to see it for themselves and perhaps can see what i'm doing wrong? Normally i wouldn't have a camera in his face of course so that threw him off a bit but he's pretty much like that normally.
As you can see he's trying to roll onto his tummy and getting stuck...i don't know what to do about that..it'd be ok if he wanted to sleep on his tummy but as soon as he's on his tummy he thinks its play time. Plus he keep knocking the dummy out. I've tried not putting it back in but he gets pretty upset and wont sleep without it.
I usually just put the dummy in and walk out of the room because i find that if i stay there he just looks at me and doesn't sleep

would he go to sleep eventually if he was left (i dont mean left to cry) but left to decide when to sleep? like will he just go to sleep in a rocker or a pram or in a sling?

thanks doudou..i do try this sometimes but he just slowly works himself up until he's screaming

Have you tried rocking/jiggling your bub in your arms so that he is almost asleep and then putting him down?

tried that Trish..it used to be the ONLY way he would sleep for the first 8weeks of his life but now its like he's suddenly become aware of his surrounding and will just squirm in my arms..plus his brother pulling me every which way doesn't help

I guess its not just this getting me down, its everything really..his brothers screaming, lack of sleep, stress etc etc but if i can just get DS2 to settle better i feel like i can stay on top of things..

[lestyrox]

maybe try to get him to a really sleepy state first rather than just putting him down wide awake and expecting him to nod off. Some babies don't master this for a long time.

- thats the thing, i wrap him, then feed then put the dummy in and he's nice and sleepy- eyes closed and all and then as soon as i put him in his cot he start being unsettled..
I

would suggest unwrapping him.. He is getting more distressed by not being able to move his arms freely I think.
Why does he have to keep a dummy in? Excuse my ignorance, Charlotte never had one, so I dont understand these things! lol
Also are the curtains closed the room seemed quite bright.

Thanks limeslice- i've tried not wrapping him but then he pulls the dummy out..i've tried not using the dummy but then he doesn't settle...its a vicious circle lol
It seems to me also that he doesn't want to be wrapped anymore because as you can see from the video he fights to get his arms up but then i've tried just putting him unwrapped and he thinks its play time and will play (which is fine with me) but that lasts all of 5minutes and he's back to crying.... maybe i just need to go cold turky with the wrap?? I'm reluctant to stop wrapping AND get rid of the dummy because he associates them both with sleep iykwim

[lestyrox]

forgot to add that yes the curtains are closed..he has his blind down plus light blocking curtains drawn and its still fairly light! the sun sets on the side of the house that his room is on so it sops a lot of light.. we're moving soon so hopefull his new room will be darker.
I feel like the wrapping/dummy coming out/rolling issue is just the current problem but the main problem is that seems to fight every sleep..when he was younger and couldn't roll he'd stay wrapped and keep the dummy in but still fuss and carry on for ages every nap time...he used to do it from 4am onwards which was horrible thankfully he's not too bad during the night now

[lestyrox]

Thanks so much for the replies ladies..thank God for Belly Belly you guys help me through so much
Ozziehoffy- i;m happy for him to sleep on his tummy, he's fairly strong so i think he'd be able to roll back onto his back if he needed too. I think you might be right about him wanting to play himself to sleep..maybe i should just put him in a sleeping bag, offer him the dummy and let him wind down himself??? His brother hated being wrapped so he was in a grow bag from the start.. i think i might take your advice and give that a go.. after all he can't be more unsettled lol

I feel bad now..maybe he's just trying to tell me he doesn't want to be wrapped?

[Arimeh]

Hey honey

I was going to suggest the same thing as Cass - no wrap, sleeping on tummy.

My kids wont' sleep on their backs. They will sleep on their belly. So I have a breathing monitor for my sanity.

And FWIW - most of the time Miss M plays herself to sleep - or talks (dunno where she gets that from - probably her father ) but if she doesn't, then I make her giggle, and she drops off a lot easier. So I take her on a "cat hunt" around the house - and search every room - walk in and out - with a jagged motion - and she giggles as I talk to her.. and then a few rooms later I look down.. and she's asleep. I've been doing that for months now - so it should work at the age yours is.

Its so hard with a toddler too - I always put a good dvd on or something like that - or I come out into the loungeroom so I can talk to DS whilst trying to put her to sleep - if I do that - then I put the fan on so she just watches the fan go round and round above her and she sorta gets hypnotised by it and falls asleep. Or I dance with DS to the wiggles or something and she will fall asleep. Most times she will stay asleep too when I leave her.

Dunno if any of this helps - but I'm here with lots of sympathy cos its hard with those.. challenging.. toddlers we seem to have

[~Trish~]

It does look a bit like he wants to sleep on his tummy? Or it could just be involuntary while he's learning to roll. Would you consider trying him on his tummy and seeing if that works? You could always by a sound and movement monitor for peace of mind.

He is soooo cute

[boobaloo]

hey darl, i watched your vid, i don't think he likes being wrapped! maybe try to get him off without the warpping, and maybe on his tummy too, as it looks like that's where he wants to be. if you put him on his belly, put the palm of your hand on his back and gently rock from side to side, or pat him on his bum. good luck! and he is soooo cute!

[lestyrox]

Arimeh we so need to get together for a play date our kids seem so alike hehe thanks so much for the advice you've got some great ideas. I dunno maybe i have to just try and breath and relax and just go with it...so easier said than done though right?

He is soooo cute

hehe thanks Trish..yeah he is a really cutie sometimes when i'm fighting to get him to sleep he just looks up and me and giggles...i'm like dam it Tobie it isn't funny! and he just giggles some more and i can't help smiling..its the good times that make motherhood all worth while...

[christy]

I can say quite honestly that 90% of babies go through an incredibly unsettled sleeping phase when they start rolling. Its like the developmental milestone freaks them out & they are all out of sorts. Its exhausting.

With DD1, it was horrific but with DD2 I sort of expected it. I would keep her awake until she was tired and then do a massage, wrap her and then breastfeed to sleep and gently place her in the hammock. Some nights she was besides herself so I would pop her in the hammock and bounce her up and down until she settled. Generally that was when she was overtired though.

Sometimes the massage calmed her and sometimes it upset her. I just did some gentle strokes at first to figure out what way we were going for that night.

it can be hard to figure out what is going on.

[Inertia]

OMG! So cute!

Ok. In all seriousness. This is going to sound weird and random - but what always helped my babies at this point in time is something that smells like mummy. Like lying on one of my jackets spread out or in winter, draped over them until they were sound asleep - then remove it. Since knowing that I made a habit of feeding and sleeping on a bunny rug so that I always had one that smelt like mum to lay over them.

Its kinda the same way I get them into their own beds. Let them fall asleep next to me then move them into their own bed where they wake up in the morning. Eventually they just go there to go to sleep - although Harry has gotten wise at the moment and wakes up at about 2am and climbs back into bed with me - little smart alec.

They may hate it too, but when them rolling over in bed becomes a problem I go back to full swaddle. I got a nice big toddler blanket just to do that when they are a little older. Its probably twice the size of a regular bunny rug. Might be worth looking into.

[lestyrox]

Great advice Inertia and boobaloo! Thanks so much..will definitely try putting him on his belly and rubbing his back tomorrow and i'll put one of my shirts in the cot and see if that helps..
I feel so much better now after hearing all the suggestions, thanks so much ladies...i was terrified that you would all watch the video and tell me i'm a bad mummy..dunno why i guess i'm just a bit down on myself lately.

[Lulu]

From what I can see, the wrap seems to be annoying him, and he doesn't seem too concerned about the dummy being out (but that could just be him checking out the camera yeah?).

I'd either wrap him lots tighter (the muslin can stretch a bit), then tuck another sheet over the top up to his shoulders to keep the little arms in.
or, you can try just wrapping the bottom of him and letting the arms fly free, he might need to wave his arms around a bit before he drops off.

He isn't screaming, just grizzling a little, I'd walk about of the room and leave him to it for awhile. He might be overstimulated by you coming back in all the time? Go back in if he is winding right up. I lotsa little ones that roll around a bit and mumble before they drop off properly.

[mrscricket]

Lesty - I haven't read the other replies yet, just watch the video (never come on BB while attempting to cook tea. Very distracting). Your little one is gorgeous!

But I definiately know your frustration! DS was a terrible roller and it was so frustrating! We spent a long time with him rolling and screaming and it was a nightmare. In the end someone suggested we get him a sleeping bag (he liked the comfort of being wrapped or being in something) that was 1 size too big, and to tuck the end of it into the bottom of the cot so he couldn't roll. Although I was worried about him rolling and not being able to turn back over - it worked brilliantly for us. Problem solved. It may not be something you want to try but just thought I would mention it. He went from being a nightmare to being a very good sleeper.

I tried one of those rolling pillows things but it was a complete waste of money. Out of it in 2 seconds flat. Other wise maybe you could try one of those DreamWraps (I think they are called SafeTSleep) that holds them in position safely. If he likes being wrapped especially his arms, I have heard of a sleeping bag called Peke Moe that contains their arms. While I haven't seen one, a friend of a friend had success with one.

Good luck!

[mrscricket]

Ok - just read the other posts. The idea of having something that smells like mummy is a good one. Around this age, we gave DS a little blankie that had little ribbon loops sewn on it. Initally I had put it against my skin and it smelt like me. Now it smells like him. He seemed to love the comfort of it and would play with the loops until he fell asleep - generally with the blankie over his face but it was small enough and light enough to not be too much of a worry (and we could always remove it when he was asleep). He still sleeps with it now - and with his fingers hooked through the same two red and pink loops every time. As long as he has blankie, he will sleep pretty much anywhere.

[Georgi]

Celeste, my suggestion may be a bit left field but thought I'd add it in...

Could you hold him on his side with one hand holding his arms down while the other hand pats him on his bottom. This is how I resettle my DS & he nods off straight away. Though we don't use a dummy. I guess you may need another hand to keep putting that back in. Or maybe use your forearm to prop the dummy in place.

I also find DS likes to look around the room while I'm settling him. I cover his eyes with the back of my hand so he can't make eye contact with me, or see anything for that matter.

I hope that made sense.

[Meluchja]

Oh can I first say, your little boy is such a cutie.
I think you have some great ideas to try, I just wanted to add 1 little thing, if you do try put him to sleep with his arms free, maybe try scattering some dummies in his cot, so he can always have one he could maybe replace himself. I read to do this when I was having similiar problems with DD waking up during the night and not resettling without her dummy. It worked great, she would roll over, find one, and go back off to sleep herself, bliss....

I hope you get some improvements, I know the stress that sleep deprovation can do to oneself with 2 little munckins to take care off. Take care of yourself hun.

[Rouge]

I agree with Lulu, he looks like he'd settle if the wrap wasn't annoying him so much. Both my two were like this they liked the tightness of a good wrap, without one they would annoy themselves with their own flailing. If he likes his dummy this will also stop him from knocking it out. We too progressed to a sleeping bag after that. You can get these really cool velcro wraps that are really cool, my gf had one for her son and she never had any of the unwrapping problems we had with our kids.

I can totally understand the frustration... I wish I could come and help you

[Macca79]

My Ds was about 4 months when he started developing sleep issues. Around this time we stopped wrapping him too. Rocking to sleep worked for us and so did putting him in his own room (I know your bub is already in his own room). I also got help for PND around this stage and looking back I think my PND made everything seems worse. I just couldn't deal with DS not going down because I really needed him to so I could get some peace. If you think it might be something that is affecting you please go to your GP. It was the best thing I ever did and after the first counselling session I felt better just knowing that I wasn't alone. In all it took about 2 weeks to start feeling better and I noticed DS started sleeping a bit better too. My mantra during this time became 'This too shall pass'. Hang in there honey your going through a tough patch at the moment but your on the right track, your seeking help[ from your MCHN for your son, just don't forget about yourself.