thread: I'm so sick of doing this every day NEED HELP!.. video attached

  1. #19
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Grafton
    208

    Great advice Inertia and boobaloo! Thanks so much..will definitely try putting him on his belly and rubbing his back tomorrow and i'll put one of my shirts in the cot and see if that helps..
    I feel so much better now after hearing all the suggestions, thanks so much ladies...i was terrified that you would all watch the video and tell me i'm a bad mummy..dunno why i guess i'm just a bit down on myself lately.

  2. #20
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    From what I can see, the wrap seems to be annoying him, and he doesn't seem too concerned about the dummy being out (but that could just be him checking out the camera yeah?).

    I'd either wrap him lots tighter (the muslin can stretch a bit), then tuck another sheet over the top up to his shoulders to keep the little arms in.
    or, you can try just wrapping the bottom of him and letting the arms fly free, he might need to wave his arms around a bit before he drops off.

    He isn't screaming, just grizzling a little, I'd walk about of the room and leave him to it for awhile. He might be overstimulated by you coming back in all the time? Go back in if he is winding right up. I lotsa little ones that roll around a bit and mumble before they drop off properly.

  3. #21
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    in a super happy place!
    1,008

    Lesty - I haven't read the other replies yet, just watch the video (never come on BB while attempting to cook tea. Very distracting). Your little one is gorgeous!

    But I definiately know your frustration! DS was a terrible roller and it was so frustrating! We spent a long time with him rolling and screaming and it was a nightmare. In the end someone suggested we get him a sleeping bag (he liked the comfort of being wrapped or being in something) that was 1 size too big, and to tuck the end of it into the bottom of the cot so he couldn't roll. Although I was worried about him rolling and not being able to turn back over - it worked brilliantly for us. Problem solved. It may not be something you want to try but just thought I would mention it. He went from being a nightmare to being a very good sleeper.

    I tried one of those rolling pillows things but it was a complete waste of money. Out of it in 2 seconds flat. Other wise maybe you could try one of those DreamWraps (I think they are called SafeTSleep) that holds them in position safely. If he likes being wrapped especially his arms, I have heard of a sleeping bag called Peke Moe that contains their arms. While I haven't seen one, a friend of a friend had success with one.

    Good luck!

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    in a super happy place!
    1,008

    Ok - just read the other posts. The idea of having something that smells like mummy is a good one. Around this age, we gave DS a little blankie that had little ribbon loops sewn on it. Initally I had put it against my skin and it smelt like me. Now it smells like him. He seemed to love the comfort of it and would play with the loops until he fell asleep - generally with the blankie over his face but it was small enough and light enough to not be too much of a worry (and we could always remove it when he was asleep). He still sleeps with it now - and with his fingers hooked through the same two red and pink loops every time. As long as he has blankie, he will sleep pretty much anywhere.

  5. #23
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Gold Coast
    1,521

    Celeste, my suggestion may be a bit left field but thought I'd add it in...

    Could you hold him on his side with one hand holding his arms down while the other hand pats him on his bottom. This is how I resettle my DS & he nods off straight away. Though we don't use a dummy. I guess you may need another hand to keep putting that back in. Or maybe use your forearm to prop the dummy in place.

    I also find DS likes to look around the room while I'm settling him. I cover his eyes with the back of my hand so he can't make eye contact with me, or see anything for that matter.

    I hope that made sense.

  6. #24
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    BrisVegas
    1,467

    Oh can I first say, your little boy is such a cutie.
    I think you have some great ideas to try, I just wanted to add 1 little thing, if you do try put him to sleep with his arms free, maybe try scattering some dummies in his cot, so he can always have one he could maybe replace himself. I read to do this when I was having similiar problems with DD waking up during the night and not resettling without her dummy. It worked great, she would roll over, find one, and go back off to sleep herself, bliss....

    I hope you get some improvements, I know the stress that sleep deprovation can do to oneself with 2 little munckins to take care off. Take care of yourself hun.

  7. #25
    Administrator
    Add Rouge on Facebook

    Jun 2003
    Ubiquity
    9,922

    I agree with Lulu, he looks like he'd settle if the wrap wasn't annoying him so much. Both my two were like this they liked the tightness of a good wrap, without one they would annoy themselves with their own flailing. If he likes his dummy this will also stop him from knocking it out. We too progressed to a sleeping bag after that. You can get these really cool velcro wraps that are really cool, my gf had one for her son and she never had any of the unwrapping problems we had with our kids.

    I can totally understand the frustration... I wish I could come and help you
    Last edited by Rouge; March 14th, 2009 at 08:18 PM.

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Somewhere here and there.....
    483

    My Ds was about 4 months when he started developing sleep issues. Around this time we stopped wrapping him too. Rocking to sleep worked for us and so did putting him in his own room (I know your bub is already in his own room). I also got help for PND around this stage and looking back I think my PND made everything seems worse. I just couldn't deal with DS not going down because I really needed him to so I could get some peace. If you think it might be something that is affecting you please go to your GP. It was the best thing I ever did and after the first counselling session I felt better just knowing that I wasn't alone. In all it took about 2 weeks to start feeling better and I noticed DS started sleeping a bit better too. My mantra during this time became 'This too shall pass'. Hang in there honey your going through a tough patch at the moment but your on the right track, your seeking help[ from your MCHN for your son, just don't forget about yourself.

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Naww bubba!

    My son was REALLY unsettled while learning to roll and crawl- no matter how tired he would roll over and be up. It seemed implusive rather than a desire to roll IYKWIM so I'm sure it was frustrating him just as much.

    He has only just started self settling a few months ago so at your son's age I rocked him to sleep in my arms. I stopped wrapping him too and it looks to me like Tobias doesn't want to be wrapped anymore. We gave my son his muslin wrap folded up as a comfort blanket and he still has it now. I would place it between us while feeding him and then move his hands so they were both clutching it when I put him to bed. I find the blanket really helps keep his busy hands occupied so he doesn't pull his dummy out.

    I also always lay him on his side- he hated being on his back which I can understand as it doesn't feel very cosy and being on his tummy wakes him up as he hops straight up.

    This stage will pass! All the best.

  10. #28
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Grafton
    208

    Thanks so much guys.. sooooo glad i posted on here and its nice to read that others have gone through this and that it got better..I felt really guilty about being so frustrated but now i feel a little more normal..
    Great idea about tucking the sleeping bag into the end of the cot! thanks mrscricket, also he doesn't have a special blankie or toy yet so i might make him a special little taggy...it'd be good to have a crafty project to take my mind off things.

    Thanks Macca79- i'll talk to the nurse on Monday about how i'm feeling..sometimes i feel great but then when the s**t is hitting the fan i feel like i could just get in the car and drive away from it all. I think it'll be good to talk to someone about it and get some coping strategies

    Georgi- thanks for the advice, i know DS1 loved having his bottom patted so i might give that a go too

    So much great advice thanks!

  11. #29
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2007
    Gold Coast
    860

    You've got heaps of great advice here, and it sounds like you're feeling a bit more positive with some new ideas to try. Just thought I'd quickly mention that DD had one of those blankies with the head in the middle, just a small square like a taggie blankie. Anyway, it was (is still ) an elephant and she really likes to suck on the trunk (she didn't take to a dummy). It's easier to hold on to than a dummy, is the point of all the rambling. And, like the scattered dummies idea, you can use more than one and they are easy to find.

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Melbourne
    970

    Yup I agree that it looks like the wrap is annoying him because he can't get his hands free. He doesn't seem upset or distressed to me - more frustrated than anything. Having taken Leo to sleepschool, one of the important things I learnt is that once they can move around, they will find their own position to get comfortable in, once they are in it, don't disturb them for anything. If he is spitting his dummy out he probably doesn't want it. That's why you need to make sure they are as comfortable as possible before putting them in their cot, ie not too cold, not to warm, nothing that can harm them etc.

    Whatever method you chose you have to stick to it, it is not going to be the solution after one day, it might take a couple of weeks of sticking with that same method until it sinks in to him that that is his routine now. It took me three solid weeks of the same settling methods to get from Leo waking anywhere upto 6 times a night to sleeping trhough from the moment I put him down in his cot to 6am and we have never looked back!!!

  13. #31
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    We used to call DS Flai-ling when he was tiny...

  14. #32
    Registered User

    Aug 2004
    Melbourne
    970

    There is a particular comforter called a Cuskie - they have a website, it is a piece of material kind of like a head with a flowing body and the material absorbs scents so the mum sleeps with it for a couple of nights and then gives it to bubs. They reccomend having two so mum can sleep with one and baby with the other, and then just swap them over every couple of days. Is apparently great for milk production too because the babies scent is on the one the mum sleeps with and this stimulates the milk!

  15. #33
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Gold Coast
    1,521

    I think MIN has fantastic advice about choosing a technique & sticking with it. That is very good advice.

  16. #34
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    in the eye of a toddler tornado
    2,450

    I don't know if this will help but when DD was about that age and fighting sleep like a demon, I would wrap her super tight, hold her against my chest so she couldn't get unwrapped, holding the dummy in place with my breast and rock her to sleep. She would try to fight then at some point the fight would go out of her and she'd sleep. If it makes you feel better it was a very short stage for her.

  17. #35
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Sunshine Coast QLD
    153

    Oh your baby is gorgeous! You've been given alot of good suggestions here, gotta love belly belly, here's a couple i thought of while watching your vid.
    When you put the dummy in his mouth he sounds hungry like he wants more milk or something? My son use to make the same noise. He would also spit his dummy out after he noticed no milk coming through. Just thinking of anything that may help you i know how frustrating it is. Have you tried some nice calming music or something for him to listen to while he is settling? a mobile or something to look at? Also i use to do what Georgi suggested and found it quite successful with the baby on his side, with your hand on his shoulder patting his bottom with the other in slow long pats (tho after a while my arm would be killing me)... Hopefully its just a phase..

  18. #36
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Grafton
    208

    Thanks guys! i'm feeling a bit more positive today after some sleep (well broken sleep anyway ) I'm going to get my bum out of the house this morning and do some shopping..i'm off to by some sleeping bags to see if that will help and i'll drop into spotlight coz i'm fixated on the idea of making DS a special taggy now..thanks to everyone who suggested that!

    When you put the dummy in his mouth he sounds hungry like he wants more milk or something? My son use to make the same noise. He would also spit his dummy out after he noticed no milk coming through.
    I'm so glad you noticed that mama2two...he makes that noise quite often when i put the dummy in...maybe i should offer him more boob? I always give him a top up feed before i put him down so i figure he's not hungry?? I have noticed that he's gone off the dummy a bit, he wont take it during the night but when he's just about asleep he seems really like it..

    I can't figure out whether he wants to be on his tummy or whether its just an involuntary thing because he's so determined to roll over but then once he's on his tummy he fusses..i let him roll onto his tummy this morning unwrapped and listened with the monitor from another room and he fussed for around 5-10mins then started crying and getting worked up..i don't think he's figured out how to get from his tummy to his back yet..although he can do that when he has tummy time on the floor so i dunno
    anyway he's just woken up so i better get my self dressed...i'll report back later

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