Hi Emma, Congrats on your bubs. Whoever told you that you need 4 hours bedrest has obviously never been a SAHP of a baby and a toddler! My baby is 5 months old. I was the same as you early days re: tv but now he seems to have developed a preference for passive entertainment over any kind of independent play, hence the reason I'm concerned about changing things.
We do set up cubbies, but he won't play in it if I don't join him.. Likewise with his trainset... he's not interested if I'm not doing it with him.. It's the same with just about anything. Which I don't mind, of course, but I think he needs to be able to play by himself *sometimes*.
I did rotate some of his toys out a couple of weeks ago so I might have to reintroduce them and see if he's interested!
What other sorts of things does your 3 yo do to entertain herself? Was she good at independent play before bubs came along?
Good thread...I have a feeling I'll be dealing with the same kind of thing once my #2 comes along. My DS always wants me to be involved and doesn't really have the concept of indpendant play either....I'm hoping it comes along before May!!
I have a feeling I'll be at a lot of parks with bubs in a pram while DS plays!
My DD is 2.5 and my baby is 5 months so similar ages. DD is also really bad at independant play. Particulary if that idependant play means I am doing stuff with the baby.
My 5 month old only has 2-3 day sleeps (mostly only for 40 mins). Occasionally I get the odd 1.5 hour sleep out of him. Most mornings of the week I have something on with the toddler so baby sleeps in car or pram. If I am having a bad day he just goes into a sling and I wear him while he sleeps - DD doesn't really like that very much though and tends to get a bit cranky. Whenever the baby is sleeping I make a big thing of doing stuff with her and letting her now it is special time cause the baby is asleep. That way she is happier for me to spend the time putting him to sleep.
I don't do housework during the day and try to find games that I can involve both kids in. Reading books, playing outside, paddle pool, blocks, etc. I also involve her in everything to do with baby. So its her job to get the clean nappy, spew rag, toy. Somedays it works really well other days nothing is in sync and its a nightmare
Sorry not really any great tips there. I am sure it will get easier as the baby gets older and more interactive and able to play with the toddler. That way they can play together (fingers crossed).
My initial thoughts are to change your baby's routine to reduce the number of sleeps but to sleep for longer. My 6month old is a catnapper too and she would only sleep for 20 mins or so at a time. When she wasn't sleeping I was either feeding or occupying her as she's a bit of a velcro baby. Have you tried resettling when the baby wakes up after the first sleep cycle?
I have started being really strict with DD in enforcing a sleep routine. Its still a work in progress but already I'm noticing she is starting to get into a routine and also sleeping for longer. I am lucky that my 2 year old is at daycare 4 days a week so I have had the luxury of being able to focus on getting DD into a routine which has been time consuming.
I agree that as the baby gets older the two of them can start to occupy each other and you will be less in demand.
I know this wasn't what you asked but IMO getting #2 sorted will benefit #1 and you too.
I think it is an age thing too, but what you are describing, while frustrating does sound normal. hun. I remember how hard it was. It's like you have to prove you love them.
My DD wasn't great either at first and it has probably taken her the better part of 10months to get better.
She was 2 and 10months when DS was born and was a great help - but some kids just aren't into that.
What helped was me giving DD some time on her own away from the house and away from the baby.
Playing with other kids helped as well. Do you go to playgroup? Does he go to CC?
DD really looked forward to her daycare days. I found that she was more independent the day after CC...and then it went downhill until the next week.
DOes he choose what to do? Do you reward him when he does play on his own? Are his communication skills good enough for you to explain to him that you need some timeout?
Saffi - I think you are right in that if I could get the baby into a better routine then managing the toddler would be easier. But! How to do!? Got any tips? I've just tried the white noise today and she's currently having one of her longest sleeps in a very long time (70 mins so far!), so hopefully that will be the key. I have tried resettling after she wakes, but most of the time she wont resettle.
Kim - DS wanting interactive play isn't so much an attention thing - he'd happily play computer/iPhone or watch TV by himself for hours if I would let him. It's more that he doesn't want to play with ordinary toys and activities without someone playing alongside him. He's really quite good in terms of jealousy/understanding when I need to take care fo the baby. He understands what I mean when I say he needs to play alone and I need a rest, but he just doesn't *like* it.
We go to playgroup once a week, childcare once a week and grandparents once a week. Sometimes a playdate with friends/cousins thrown in too. He is good at interacting with other kids although he had a patch there where he didn't want to go to childcare because there's no computer there! So I stopped letting him use the computer shortly after that happened which remedied his disinclination and he's happy to go again.
Yup, I gots me a stubborn one! To answer your other Q's.. He does choose what activities he wants to do, but I probably don't praise him enough when he plays independently (because it rarely happens lol) so I'll have to remember to do that. Thanks.
Thanks everyone for your help & input. Any other ideas will be warmly welcomed. xx
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hun. I remember how hard it was. It's like you have to prove you love them.
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