Hi Sorka,
I read your post with interest as well as empathy. Have you had your son assessed for any spectrum disorders? My daughter has displayed many of the same personality traits that you have described in your post, especially the sensitivity, exceptional memory skills, taking things literally and sensitivity to sounds etc. and it has been suggested many times by school psyches and teachers that she may have a whole variety of issues...hearing disorder, autism,aspergers, ADD and most recently that she may be gifted. Like your son she was always hanging out with the teacher and never seemed to mature past the stage of playing next to children and onto playing 'with' children. However, as time has gone by (she is 12 now) I have stopped trying to make her conform to the 'norm' and have chosen to just go with it. I love her for the way she is and choose not to label her.....or medicate her.
Anyway, this is a very long story of questioning myself as a mother which I wont go into as this would be 5 pages long.
I have homeschooled my daughter since 5th grade and it was the best thing I ever did as only I know how to reach her and switch her on. I'm not saying you should do this, I'm just saying you will know when it is time to step in. She is now just a happy kid, she gets all the socialisation she needs through more natural environments such as family and family friends.
Sorry, I went of tangent a bit.
My sister now has a 2 year old boy who has also displayed some of the same behaviours, and they have just completed the assessment program through which he was officially diagnosed as Autistic. Whilst I was determined to struggle on and just accept my daughter as she is, my sister chose to get help and it has also been the best thing she could have done, as now she has her son in a program to assist him and her in so many ways.
What is interesting about this is that my daughter has always perceived herself as 'different', and when my littel nephew was diagnosed with Autism she asked if maybe she had 'caught it too' and maybe that was what was 'wrong' with her. My heart broke as for the first time I thought that perhaps not assessing her was a mistake. Perhaps if i had assessed her when she was the age your son is now she may have been able to accept herself as she is, and maybe even understand herself more.
Well, I don't know if I am helping you at all by telling you this, but I thought I should in the hope that it might make you feel better knowing no matter what it is not neccesarily a bad thing to have a child with anxiety issues or autism disorders.
My daughter is a bright and very talented girl. She is computer mad and is currently in the top 5 finalists for the Young Australian Art awards (little brag opportunity there). I used to worry if she would ever find a place to fit in this world, but I dont worry about it anymore. Whilst her anxiety and self doubt still remain and is a constant challenge for me to help her with, she also knows she has many opportunities in life to be happy and successful. She is so full of love and acceptance of everyone. She has an incredibly strong sense of justice. I am so thankful to have her exactly the way she is and so glad I stepped in and took her out of the school environment when I did. I think things would have been very different if I had not.
I hope it all works out for you and your boy Sorka. It is so hard to deal with what you are dealing with as we need so much for our kids to be 'normal' and accepted by their peers. But in many cases it is not something they need themselves and forcing it onto them causes stress. If he is not ready for kinda, then dont send him. You will know when it is right.