DS is 2 and 7 months and I wouldn't even consider leaving him anywhere over night. A couple of hours is absolute max for me and even then I stress about him the whole time.
i can't remember when i first left my DS overnight but i'd say he was between 12-18 months. he'd been waking every 45min-2 hours every night since he was born so one night i slept at my MIL's house while she & DP stayed here with DS. we've left him a few times overnight at her place since but she lives round the corner & he is actually excited to go there to stay (he's 2 & 7 months). i wouldn't have felt comfortable with it until i was absolutely sure that he was happy to be there & that i know DP's mum has very similar ideas around parenting/comforting as we do.
it is lovely that she wants to help, but i agree with ladybirdflies that there are far better ways she could be helping at this stage, especially as you are BFing & essentially wouldn't be getting extra sleep as you'd still be expressing when baby would have been feeding anyways!
there are lots of years to come when she can babysit overnight (if you're comfortable with it)
My first night away from my girls was when i had my gall gladder out last year, DD1 was nearly 5 and DD2 just 2. Only hospital would have made me do it, and even then i postponed it over a year so DD2 was a bit older.
With DS he didn't have a sleep over until 6 months and that was only because we had a wedding. Actually that month we had 2 weddings, so 2 sleep overs in 1 month!
DD I actually don't remember but she would have been over 11 months as I bf until then. The kids will every now and then go for a special sleep over at my Mums just because. That's maybe once every 2-3 months and otherwise they have sleep overs every so often if we have an event or something on. My ILs also asked at around the 6 week mark when they could start having DS at their house. Actually they still do now. I haven't felt nervous leaving the kids with my Mum but with my ILs I do. I just don't feel they are the kind of people that will take care of my kids how I feel they should. So we limit that very much and I just don't see the point in dropping the kids off just because they want them. They are always welcome to call and come and see them if we're home.
It's all personal choice, your situation, the people looking after your child/children and how comfortable you feel. I know for us, a break is good every now and then and the kids love going to their Nanny's house but it's not for everyone and that's more than ok!
We left DD with my ILs while I had DS, although I went into labour at 6am and he was born at 9am so really, we didn't need to, but I wanted to spend a night with just my new bub in hospital. DD was 16 months at that point. She'd spent a lot of time there, they had a proper bed for her, it was comfortable for her, my MIL didn't mind getting up in the middle of the night to her nor did she mind starting the day at 5am when DD decided it was time to get up
It isn't an easy thing, taking a child overnight, before I reckon about 3yo. They often still have needs overnight... it can be hard for anyone who isn't the parent to respond to them.
We haven't left DS anywhere yet - he's 19mths.
I would just say to MIL "Thank you so much for the offer! That is incredibly generous of you! However, I'm not going to be able to leave him anywhere for a while as he needs to feed overnight and won't take a bottle, sorry!"
We left DD overnight at 12 weeks (we'd been home nearly 6 weeks). But, we had concert tickets booked for nearly 12 months and we couldn't miss the concert. It was the opportunity of a lifetime and the band had since gone on a indefinate break.
We've left her a few times. Only ever with my parents, as they know her routine and what she can and can't eat. They were also the only people trusted when DD was on all her medications.
DS is 4 in March and he has never had a sleepover. For me, I get up to DS and comfort him straightaway and, I don't trust other people to do that. I hate the idea that they would let him cry for however long when I wouldn't do that if he woke up through the night (especially in a different environment to what he use to, I believe he would be disorientated and scared if it wasn't handled right)
I have had a few nights away but OH has always looked after DS and OH has been away overnight heaps but I was there.
I don't think it is an insult to his family that you don't want to let your LO stay with your IL's. This is your baby and it is upto you when you are ready to let her sleep anywhere else.
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