Hey Emma,
I took Benny's dummy away at 12 weeks - like you I forced it on him and he didn't really need it and I felt like I was using it to keep him quiet. I used the Ngala technique ( I think!) where I turned him on his side in his cot and rocked him so he couldn't see me.
He would scream the place down and it was really hard when DH was home 'cos he hates Benny crying. Fortunately Benny found his thumb - that took time though 'cos it waould fall out or he couldn't remember where his mouth was.
I wanted to do it early as well so I didn't have to try later when he would remember it.
It will take time, but like the other girls said, do what works for you and don't be hard on yourself.