Bun, it really is tough with a extra little one and toddler.
I have been where you are and no matter how much we try and gentle parent, it is just soo hard sometimes.
That is great that she understands about the dummy now.
It will only get better, I can assure of you that.
Oh hun I feel for you Don't beat yourself up about it (hard I know), it sounds like a really challenging time. My DD is very full on and I really struggle some days with her - and I don't have a newborn as well! You sound like you've been doing an amazing job - yes you had a bad day, but I'm sure your DD won't even remember it tomorrow. More I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
Oh Hun, BTDT and I'm ashamed to say it's happened a few times lately. O has been not himself of late and pushing the boundaries at every turn. I totally understand the sleep deprivation and the effect it has on tollerance, I'm still up 3-4 hourly with B and those days that O wakes up whinging and doesn't stop until the sun go down does my head in.
Just know that you aren't a bad Mum. You are only human and most importantly you realise it wasn't how you want to react. My latest hissy fit at O was yesterday and I was certain the neighbours were going to call the police on the mad woman screaming like a banchee (sp?)
what a tough day - bet there's not many people who could say they haven't had a mummy meltdown after one of those. hope tomorrow is a better one (with no screaming!!)
Thank you so much for all your replies again. Thankfully today has been a much better day! She seems to have accepted that she is not going to get the dummy and is not even bothering to whinge after the initial request is well and truly denied!!
Beema - what you are doing sounds exactly like what we are doing. It seems to help having DD hand it over herself and she seems to understand and give up on whinging if she doesn't feel like a sleep too. We were also going really well with weaning her off it a little while ago but then right when we though we were getting somewhere, she regressed! Difficult little things...
Janie - I love your idea about the ZONE! I think that is similar to what I do when I am really stubborn about something and DD seems to know it. She will often just whinge and whinge until I eventually give in, but when I am REALLY set on something, she must sense it in my tone of voice or something, because she seems to understand that no matter what she does, she is not going to get her own way!! It really has been much easier than I anticipated today, but I suppose we will see how things go over the next few days...
Kelly - that's funny, I just bought DD a train set and thought I would give it to her at Christmas (she loves train sets!), but now I am thinking that is a very good idea to give it to her when she gets rid of the dummy for good. For the moment I will let her have it at nights until she is a little older, and then hopefully she will understand if I try the same thing you did with Luke and I can wean her off it for good. We have also been doing the 'dummies are for babies' thing and 'you don't need that anymore' but although it worked for a while, it doesn't anymore! I reckon the dummy fairy line will definitely work, will start trying that too I think. Thank you!
Kel & Janie - we are still finalising where we will be staying next week, I will PM you both to try and arrange something when I know where we will be. Most likely in the city at this stage, and DH is busy all Fri am so would love to catch up then if we can!
Don't lose heart about the dummy - your DD sounds about the same as my DS (wouldn't happen to be a capricorn would she? Stubborn little buggers) and I couldn't get the dummy off him until he was about 3 months off being 3 - before then it was just too bloody hard. When he was closer to 3 he could understand more and I could reason with him (and I suppose bribe the little poo head.. lol)
Its super hard with sleep deprivation and a whingy toddler - and another screaming baby! I dunno, as soon as the kids start screaming my patience levels expires realllll quick.
Hugs Bun. I could have written your post a few times over. You are a wonderful mum and you are a human. You know some times a mummy tanty works wonders. Next time you go to the library you can gently remind DD what happened last time. Your DD is very similar age to my DD2 and I am starting to be able to explain to her why I acted in a certain why and I also tell her how I am feeling. If you get a chance maybe have a chat with her about why you acted this way. Hugs babe
Hey sweetheart... huge for you. I've been in that place also. I think most of us have at one time or another. I wasn't proud of myself either and then melted down at myself for my meltdown! Being a mum is VERY tough and even tougher when we're very sleep deprived. Vent whenever you need to hun. you're not the worst mother by any means. You care... and you have shown that, the fact that you feel bad about it proves what a fantastic mother you really are. Oh and for what it's worth, I've also left the library story time cos of a tantrum from Oskar, followed by me REALLY telling him off and he's NEVER done it again!
I will also own up and say I've been the same lately...
DD pushing the limits alongside DS who has like 8 teeth coming thru at once, add that onto the stress of my work, flu, losing Mum, moving house yadda yadda - I've been losing it at the kids too. They just know the buttons to press eh?
I've always made a point of apologising afterwards and getting a kiss and cuddle afterwards. Although she probably has no idea what I'm dribbling about lol!
Registered User
Bun, it really is tough with a extra little one and toddler.
You are a GOOD mum.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks