Major Night Tantrums

[Carrie]

Hi there,
My daughter is 16 months old and has been a fantastic sleeper for a fair while, sleeping for about 11 to 12 hours over night. Recently, however, things have changed and I'm starting to reach the end of my teather. I'm confused, not sure what to do anymore and NEED YOUR HELP!
As I said, my DD was sleeping well until about a month ago. We changed her room to from next to ours to the other end of the house (as her room got WAY too hot in summer). She was ok here and slept through the night. My DH then went overseas for 2 weeks and it was just us. Both DD and I got gastro during this time and I let her sleep with me overnight every now and then as we were sick.
Since this time DD who has always been very independent has become very clingy to me. She started throwing tantrums during the night and would not settle, so again so I could get some sleep I put her in bed with me and DH. Now every night it is getting worse so that now she throws a tantrum when we put her into bed at night and won't calm unless we let her sleep with us.
I wouldn't mind this except for that DH and I are sleeping really badly with her in with us and are exhaused and grumpy (plus we both smoke - and I know that you're not supposed to co-sleep if you smoke ETA- We don't smoke near her or in the house, only outside)
DD is fine in her bed during the day, but will not sleep there at night, and won't even sleep in the porta cot in our room. She will only stop chucking a tantrum (screaming madly, hitting etc) if I get into bed with her - not anyone else.
I have never wanted to do controlled crying - but last night I tried it but DD just kept screaming so again we ended up with her in our bed.
PLease Help!