"Middle" Children

[Kazzo]

I had my 2nd son and honestly it was like he never exsisted in there eye, I don't think they had a picture of him put up in there house for over 2 years, they rarely choose to spend time with him and it was quite obvious (even to him eventually) that he was left out. I then had my 3rd son and my in laws think he is just gorgeous and now gets the same attention my eldest did.

That is really sad and horrible that they did/do that. When we found out DD2 was a girl FIL pretty much ignored my pregnancy for about 15 weeks but the excitement of a new grandchild eventually won over and he came around. DD2 still takes a bit of time to warm up to him though, maybe she knows.

[sloane]

coming from an only child who has listened to more than my fair share of bollocks about only children being 'spoilt' i'm going to say this only has as much meaning as you're willing to give it. i can see that in some circumstances that there may be parents who subscribe to it or who use it as an excuse but i really can't see you doing it heaven (not that i know you irl, just going by your posts & the overall parenting philosophy that you use).

my DP is the 3rd of 4 children. from what i can see, all 4 of them have presented their parents with challenges at different times & no one more than any other. #1 & #4 are definitely more outgoing than #2 & #3 but that is personality. DP's mum has always said she could see personality traits from when they were tiny & they just are who they are.

[megs]

I agree Sloane, I do think that to a degree it is the personality traits that define a child more so then there birth order. But being a first born myself, and my DH is also a first born I can see the we both seem the naturally shoulder more responsibilities that our respective siblings. But then that may also have had to do with both of our upbringings. Different times, different generaltions.