My 3mth old doesn't like strangers. Is this normal?
Hi all,
My DS seems to already have 'stranger danger' in that he will cry when held by unfamiliar people and stops crying immediately when returned to me. I thought this usually happened at around 6mths but my DS has been like this for some time now. Is it usual for a young baby to be wary of new people? Even if I am holding him he may get upset if someone new tries to engage him (not always though, but often enough). At mother's group, all the babies lie on a mat together but my DS is only happy doing this if I am in close distance (and preferably sitting there with him) but all the other babies don't seem to worry about where their mums are. He is fine with well known adults (ie. his dad, granny ect).
Interestingly, when in our home he seems a bit more receptive to new people. What do you think?? Anyone elses children like this at such a young age and if so did they grow out of it?
yep, Eden was like this from about 10 weeks, in fact still is.. and is 6 months tomorrow.... i was anxiety ridden about it at first, now , i just think.... well thats her personality, she is more than happy to smile at people if they smile at her , but if they're in her face she will cry.. if she is held by anyone other than me or her daddy she will cry within 5 minutes, bar my dad... it will start with a frown, then a quivering lip , then the cry.. some people have said .... ooo you better stop that soon...
Why? shes a baby, my baby and thats how she likes it.
Is it stressing you out at all? Your bub just knows who you are and feels safe with you...
No, I don't suppose it's stressing me, I just worry that I am doing something to make him feel insecure. As you say, it's probably just a personality thing (and/or that he's super intelligent ).
Gosh, I was just about the only person Darcy was happy to be with for ages besides DH and my Mum - but she preferred me if I was available. Probably 7-8months.. I couldn't go out of her sight. As she's gotten more independent she's better and more interested to explore.
Even now she's a friendly but wary kid. We have a big social circle she's familiar with and a very close family on my side but she knows exactly where she's safe that's all.
Archie was the same, he is very outgoing now though unless people invade his personal space without his intiating it, then he runs straight back to me sooking. I too believe that its just their personalities and its not at all a bad thing. i have had numerous family and friends tell me that i am making a rod for my back by comforting him when he feels insecure, that is ridiculous! Your bub will get more outgoing as she gets older, for now just appreciate how much she adores and loves you.
YES! Jesse started that on Christmas Day of all times! So he was 3.5 months old. I spent the whole evening in another room trying to calm him down! He'd be ok then someone would come up or make eye contact and he'd be set off again.
He has out grown it mostly now.. except with MIL but thats understand able!! My whole family and other friends etc he's fine with... as long as im in eye sight.
Perfectly normal. And it is right to comfort them when this happens. This helps them to learn how to manage their own emotions. Keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. This is how they form secure attachments.
It's also a biological thing, kids developed this fear so that it would keep them close to mum and they wouldn't get hurt/eaten by predators, lol.
Yep! DD was like that at 3 months,would drop the lip and scream until thye went away!!! and still does it now but only if strange ppl try come up to her straight away and are all in her face, but if they stay around her for awhile and let her suss them out shes fine! shes funny its like ppl have to earn her trust lol
Im a NO here.. Chelsea has always gone to other people no matter what... she is to frielndly and likes all the attention to care about strangers. My health nurse said she has separation anxiety around 4 months because when i left the room she would cry, but its cos she couldnt see me...not for any other reason and that lasted about a week. SHe goes to FDC now and once we arrive she couldnt care less...LOL
Not sure if having her like this from day 1 is goin to be a problem later down the track tho?
I haven't had the crying but Charly likes to know that Mum is there, she loves chatting to people at the shops, at a distance and knowing that mum is there. But even when she is with DH if she spys me the arms go out no real crying but the pleading face.
Think it is a natural thing, and comforting them that is what they need at this age. I feel until you know they understand there is no point putting them though the stress when it not necessary. Although it would be nice to have a breather sometimes, it wont be long before they are very independant.
I have read that 3 months is when they start to realise anyone is actually a stranger. So he is probably just starting to realise that he hasn't met this person before. So totally normal. My DS is just coming up to 3 months and I have seen it a little bit lately. I would just let him be around someone first before handing him over and not make too big a deal out of it otherwise he might feel anxiety on your part and reinforce any feelings of anxiety he has about the person.
Babies are so interesting arent they?!?
Yeah, Annika was like this from an early age, it's amazing how much babies know when they are still so young! She protested going to anyone except me or DH. She's getting a bit better now, but she is very selective with who she will go to. This being said, she had one of the higher degrees of seperation anxiety, at a really early age as well - she still hasn't overcome that - apparently it can last until they are 4!
My 3mth old doesn't like strangers. Is this normal?
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