It's very frustrating, hey. Mine don't break things but they do tip stuff all over the floor and refuse to help me clean up. Fair enough for Phoebe, but Natalie knows better and I know she does it just to push my buttons. I gave up trying to pick up after them and Nat has fallen over her stuff - I felt like a bit of a bully but I told her that's what happens when you leave stuff everywhere.
Possibly it's happening because they want to get that reaction from you? My advice FWIW would be to ignore what you can and stuff that can't be ignored (like the butter incident where they deliberately go against what you've said, or violent incidents) I'd be timing out or removing a desired object. Of course, any positive stuff (though in my case they are few and far between, LOL!) should be rewarded. I struggle with this! But I think it's the most effective way to teach positive behaviour.
Good luck, mate. I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed by housework and have the kids trail behind you trashing the joint in your wake.