What do you guys do when your kids break things (ie punishments) For Ds3 we usually send him to his room and make him clean up whatever mess he made.. DD we get cross and make her clean it up.. Tonight Ds3 and Dd are both driving me batty with running around the house and I don't dare look to see what mess they just made in their room.. no doubt the sheets are pulled off again (all this after a great day today)
Thanks again everyone, you're making my zoo, I mean home look normal! It's nice to feel normal, lol!
Amy, I'm a bit like that with Liam, I do let him get away with a bit but he's getting bigger now and understands alot. He's just very stubburn! And monstrous, lol! He can be very destructive, though sometimes he's just exploring and wreaks things accidentally. Lil is usually pretty gentle and will ask if she can do things, just lately she has become...naughty is the only word I can think of! She has always been a great kid, never went through the terrible twos, she's having horrific threes though. Definately making up for it! I usually do ignore things I can, and if they hurt themselves I tell them that's the result of what ever it was that made it happen. And I do reward them for positive behaviour. I thank them for helping, hug them when they're sharing, tell them what ever it is that is wonderful and I appreciate them and their efforts....stuff like that.
Jen, I think you've hit the nail on the head in saying I had the techniques to make their behaviour better. I do and that's another thing that irks me. I have 13yrs working with children of this age. I have training, a diploma, degree....I can do it with other peoples children. Alot of parents used to come to me to learn about behaviour modification techniques. I could sit on the floor with a child for an hour in the midst of a tanty until they stopped and did what they were expected to. But with my kids I'm so hit and miss. Some days I have it in me, some days I just don't. Some days I just can't face the tanty's and screaming. That's the problem. Me. I haven't been terribly consistent lately being pg and just having moved and I'm struggling a bit myself. DH has been away 2 out of 6 weeks, which we aren't used to. He always works, but is always home every night or day depending on shifts. The kids are testing me and I feel like I'm failing them and me.
Rebecca, I do throw toys out or confiscate them if the kids are being destructive with them. They have so may toys it's not really a problem for them. They hardly notice....I have put some of their toys away because they have alot but it still seems like their toy room is a toy store! And I do try to focus on DD. But sometimes I feel like I'm picking on her and I'm not tough enough on DS. He's almost 2 so is getting to a point he can understand and follow through.
Fig, I do that stuff with them. That's part of why I can't understand why they get like this. I do painting and collage and drawing and mud pies and playdough. We go outside every day at least into the yard if not to the park a few times a week. We go to playgroup. I don't know how else to occupy them. They just want my attention 24/7, and I can't give it to them, so they destroy stuff because they know I will get cranky at them and they will have to help clean up.
Nic, consequences for DD is for her to go to her room if she's being horrible. When she's over her tanty or when she feels ready to play in an appropriate way she can come out and say sorry ect.... DS, well....he gets told off for it, has to say sorry. Maybe I need to start doing time out for him too. I just always think he's only little! But at nearly two (he turns 2 next month) he can start understanding consequences to his actions too.
I often feel like you too. I just don't want to know what they've done half the time. When they're quiet and playing nicely without tears and tanty's I just don't look! Eventually I have to clean it all up, and I get them to help, DD even had to vacuume up the paper she tore up the other day, lol!
In saying all of that, we have had a really good few days the past few days. I think it all escalated because DH had been away for a week and the kids, especially DS just didn't understand what was going on. WE have never been apart for so long as a family. DS is having a tough time understanding Daddy has to go to work now too and separation anxiety is getting pretty bad for him. He's really clingy and sooky.
Thanks again to everyone. It helps to know my kids aren't the only monsters who don't listen!
FWIW I think you should take some of the pressure off yourself. Speaking from experience with DH away, this throws my DS into a bit of a feral state too. You are trying to be everything to them, Mum, Dad, and maintainer of an orderly home. You just can't do that all of the time. You have some washing to fold.....you can always do what I do.....put it into a room and close the door behind you, and maybe fold it when they are in bed.
I know what it's like to feel like you are always yelling at them, and I only have 1 to yell at. It is awful, you want to teach them the right thing, you want to give them the attention they need, but they also have to realise that they can't have you all the time, and they have to learn to play nicely if you are busy doing something else.
When I am cooking, I get a little ladder and get DS to help me do things, when I am hanging washing, I get DS to hand me the pegs and clothes.
It's hard, especially when your DH is away. I totally understand, but just remember, you can't be everything to everyone ALL of the time, and at the end of the day, the state of the house does not matter.
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