If your father cannot be trusted then I would seriously think twice about going there. If she is fearful she does not need to have her fears increased.
She loves her bath and shower so it is probably a stage she is going through.
Her welfare and your sanity are more important than your father while at such a young age.
:yeahthat: Basically if it were me and he couldn't be trusted to accept your wishes for your child than it's a definite NO.
I know how hard it gets in families, but my ILs have never had my kids for the same reasons.
FWIW my DD was exactly the same. She did go to swimming lessons really early, but then when her awareness grew, suddenly developed a pathological fear of large bodies of water. Only recently (like at 3.5) has she overcome this. I am so not a fan of 'exposing' children to make them overcome their fears...and so are you obviously.
Its probably best to start her swimming if you can, at least she will be under an instructors care and will be gently introduced to swimming. There is no way that your dad should be the one to introduce her if he is loud and forcefull she may end up even more terrified. Its true that they recommend swimming once a week if you can but now that she is exposed to a pool she should be encouraged to like it in a safe environment. You want her to know how to get out of the pool incase she ever finds her way in on her own too.
I think you should defnitely not allow your dad to babysit if you are concerned that he may force her into the pool when she is scared. Probably when he was younger, forcing children into the water to teach them to swim was pretty normal, but now it is considered to be pretty traumatizing for the child and might make her even more scared. It is much better to let your child learn to swim with you in a caring and safe environment.
I know how hard it is to deal with overbearing family (your dad sounds exactly like my father-in-law), but maybe if you tell him you are going to be take her to lessons and so you need her to stick to a specific routine with her swimming, then he might back-off and let you handle it.
I'm not sure how old your DD is, but just wanted to say my DD was exactly the same, loved water in all its forms as a baby then suddenly developed a fear of large bodies when she hit the toddler stage. I think it is common and is a developmental stage that is quite primal, just when they begin to move their safety alert goes up a notch for dangerous situations.
In my opinion this makes this a sensitive time and I think your instincts are right, don't push her. She will overcome the fear in her own time when she gets older (and realises that her fear is unfounded). If something happens to clarify that fear for her and make it real - that will be much harder to work around.
I would say trust your instincts with your dad and the pool.
Maybe you can arrange babysitting or time for the two of them at a "safe" place without getting into it with your dad if you want to avoid confronting him about it. Maybe at a zoo, park or at your house allowing you to go out?
I agree with jackrose, I think it's very normal for kids to dislike large bodies of water, a swimming pool must seem really enormous for a little one!
I only did paddling pools and bigger inflatable pools when my kids were little, and as they get bigger and more confident they've asked to go swimming in the big town pool and so that's when I took them
Hi,
Thank you all for you great advice I will certainly follow through with some of your suggestions.
Yes Kim, it is so hard with some families- If someone else in my family ever had a baby I would support their decisions 110%. It is up to the parent no-body else to decide what their children do – especially when their kids are extremely happy, healthy & well behaved!
Emitob I love your suggestion with the mentioning of swimming lessons & telling him we need to need to stick her to a specific routine... Jackrose DD is 18mths & your idea about a ‘safer’ place is a great one especially for maybe the first few times he babysits at least I can be at peace of mind while he gets to bond with her on alone time.
All of you have been such an amazing help & have each given me a piece of advice that has really helped me feel at ease. THANK YOU!!
It is nice to have someone to talk to, somewhere to go & get things off my chest. BB has been such a blessing.
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