:yeahthat: Basically if it were me and he couldn't be trusted to accept your wishes for your child than it's a definite NO.
I know how hard it gets in families, but my ILs have never had my kids for the same reasons.

FWIW my DD was exactly the same. She did go to swimming lessons really early, but then when her awareness grew, suddenly developed a pathological fear of large bodies of water. Only recently (like at 3.5) has she overcome this. I am so not a fan of 'exposing' children to make them overcome their fears...and so are you obviously.