Massive hugs hun. DS went through a horrible phase that sounds a lot like this from about 12 months onwards he would wake overnight, sometimes up to three times and would stay awake for at least an hour a time (but up to 2 and a half at a time). It was horrible and I didn't have a newborn to look after as well. We ended up at sleep school which wasn't overly helpful IMO and DS also still really needed the day sleep and is still having a day sleep most days now at nearly 2.5yrs old so I get you on that level.
We got to the point where I thought that whatever we tried couldn't possibly make it any worse and I'm guessing that's how you feel right now too. I think moving into a big bed is a good idea. Black_Rose posted some good ideas too. We found consistency helped and that's the main thing we got from sleep school, not to keep trying half a dozen strategies randomly to see which one would work tonight, y'know? We got down to two strategies. They didn't always work but at least we had a stable plan and I think eventually it did help. Find a strategy you're more comfortable with, that you can live with etc and stick to it for a while - a few weeks at least. Maybe put a comfy chair in his room - would he stay in bed if you're with him? The only other thing I can think of WRT sleep strategies is the book The No Cry Sleep Solution - have you read it? It's been a while since I have but from memory there are quite a few strategies in there.
Given he is beign woken by poo (and this sounds like a new pattern?) has his diet changed at all recently? Could he be reacting to something and it's giving him a pain etc and waking him? Dunno, just a thought that digestion could be playing a role here.
Look after yourself hun. Is there a friend or family member that could come over to help/distract DS in the mornings occasionally?
ETA - don't beat yourself up on locking his door mate. It's done and it's not like you're doing it long term. And FWIW, I have closed DS door a couple of times briefly and walked away - my doors are old fashioned and he couldn't open them himself so basically the same thing as locking it. Sometimes you just get to the end of your reserves and you need to walk away and breathe
thanks girls. that's really helpful. yeah Kaz, closing his door has saved him from a mean mummy several times. I only leave him a few mins if he's carrying on, but i really need those mins for some deep breathes.
no haven't changed his diet and have tried cutting back on day sleeps, that didn't help at all.
i suspect its a combo of overtired after his sick night and never catching up on the lost sleep... and behavourial.
i think we might go the big bed and maybe a sleep lullaby thing with a light... and try marching him back... only thing is 4 hours of that and we'll be bigger zombies than atm!
he's mostly been a pretty good sleeper for us since about 7 months and lately would wake occasionally but after a hug and drink of water would be happy to go back to sleep.
hope this passes soon!!
anyhoo any other advice would be greatly appreciated and then we'll work out ao plan of attack.
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