Everything gets so on top of you when they're sick and needy like that.
I'd suggest maybe trying this one step at a time.
What about night weaning first. You can try the no cry sleep solution or jay gordon methods. Or just go cold turkey and get ready for some screaming.

For your DS is there any way you could accomodate him in your room - mattress on the floor or somesuch? Just to get more sleep to help you to deal with things. I guess you've all been through a lot recently and many changes and perhaps he just needs a bit more time and reassurance to settle down again.