Sirenz that's an important point. The good news is that from what i have read (and as an ex abuse victim i have READ AND READ on this) the more benign/loving touch and nakedness a child experiences the less in danger of abuse they are. A child who has been lovingly caressed by a parent is not starved of touch and will be less willing to let another person touch them, and when touched in a malign/wrong way they can FEEL the difference and will feel more able to tell the abuser to stop or tell another person. Added to this most abusers like to take advantage of a child's innocence about anatomy to gain an "in" to talk about genitals, so a child which has seen genitals plenty in a safe and loving environment will not be excited to talk about it, already kows all the terminology etc. and again, will instinctively know that something is different and off about it if a potential abuser tries to engage them in discussion or experimentation relating to genitals.
By showing our children what IS appropriate and safe we are substantially protecting them from what isn't.
I must admit it's great to see/think of all the littlies of the biggies on this thread getting to have the same snuggle time DD and I enjoy
Hoobley, I agree with you it is important to teach them what is appropriate and what isn't. ATM ds is still young so we are trying to teach him the different parts, but only when he points to his or our parts, so at the moment he thinks its hilarious when we say the body part name, do you think he will get over the funny side of it and start learning?
I remember growing up and rarely seeing my mum naked and never my dad. But that's not to say i didn't get lots of cuddles or whatever.
My son on the other hand showers with DH or myself most nights and doesn't at all have an issue with us being naked. We play hairdressers, cars, splashing with cups, shaving ect. We don't have naked cuddles though, and our son does come into our beds most nights but we both don't sleep naked either. Only a couple of months ago i mentioned to dh that our son maybe getting bigger now and that ill try showering with togs on with him, Our son freaked out and said you forgot to take your togs off mum, what are you doing ect. For me it was more i thought when they get to this or that age that's when being naked around your child is suppose to stop so i'm glad i came across this thread cause it is totally a natural thing!
I always thought it was good to be open with nakedness and words for genitalia in front of DS. It seems he is very comfortable being naked and preferes to be naked (or in undies cause we tell him too now he is older). But when I was pregnant and my body was changing he made a lot of comments and stared at me when he saw me naked - sitting on the toilet, getting dressed, having a shower, in bed etc. It made me feel uncomftable with his constant coments about my breasts etc and even know when I BF he often tells me to put my breast away if the baby comes off for a while and I dont cover up straight away.
I`m surprised and saddened that at 5/6yrs this is how he responded to my nudity.
I asked DH if I should be more modest and he said yes, but then he is more the sort to cover up anyway.
We're pretty free in our house. I regularly wander around at least semi naked! I often have not top on cause I'm still bfing and it's just easier! My kids are still very young, but I don't see why it will change in the future unless they want it to. DD gets herself naked these days and is usually naked at home all day. Though now it's getting colder. I will have to try to encourage her to wear something! DD often points out my 'booboo's' to people and says 'Liam drink mummy booboo's' or 'milk booboo's'. She's very fascinated with them and is always touching them and snuggling in. I love it at the moment cause she's only a baby still, but when she's older, I'm hoping she learns a bit of discretion for my own sake, LOL! We also often bathe together, or have showers together, and DH does too. And we all co sleep too, I sleep in undies and DH boxers so we are pretty much naked. I think it's a lovely way for us to bond and show love.
The girls are really only naked when going to and from showers or baths. Julia loves doing the nudie run from the bath to her room its a game and she says catch me im rudie nudie! and DH and I sleep in the nude together, but we have never had naked cuddles with girls, only clothed ones not intentionally thats just how it is really. This is an interesting thread!
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