Pierced Ears?

[angelaartsstudent]

Sometimes I think maybe it is a gender thing.

Now I am NOT judging here, but I was in the shops on the weekend with P at a cafe at at the table next to us was a Mum with 3 boys and a girl. The girl was the youngest and had a physical disability/slight deformity and was about P's age, maybe closer to 2, but was TINY. She was obviouly happy and well natured but you could tell from her size and physicality that earlier in life she hasn't been well.

She was top to toe in pink with pierced ears.

I say again - I am NOT judging - but I AM curious as to why it was done. If I had a baby with health issues, I wouldn't make it a priority to get her ears pierced. So I wonder why they were done.

I immediately thought maybe that the Mum was so wanting a little girl after 3 boys that she just wanted her to be very girly and 'pretty'. (I write pretty like that becuase everyone's idea of pretty is different!)

Now, I am a bit of a dirty hippy in this regard and just want my kids to be and look whoever and however they feel right being...whoever they feel they 'are'....but I totally understand that some people like the girls to look girly and their boys to look boyish.

[Persephone1]

I had my ears pierced when I was 6. I had two more ear piercings when I was 14. I had my belly button pierced at 18, my tongue pierced at 21, and two tattoos at 22 and 26 respectively. All the piercings and tattoos were reflections of my personality and self-expression (although at 6, I could have waited a few years and arguably wasn't able to comprehend the event) and so I am also curious as to why parents would make that choice for their little babies. To me, it seems to be more about the parents (seemingly from many of the above posts, the mother in particular) and not about the little girls.

[angelaartsstudent]

Ditto Persephone...all my piercings were done when I was older (with the exception of my first lobes at 12, but I asked for them myself)...I started piercing at 16 and now have 22 piercings.

[Rouge]

I guess it's no different to any other type of parenting choice... people weigh up risks and make a decision that is best for them.

Did I pierce my ears for myself? No I didn't. I did it because I had it done when I was little I don't remember it and I've never ever ever thought to myself I wish my parents hadn't put me through such awful mutilation... not once. I sat with my friends at 6, 10, 12 and saw how terrified they were, how some got infected because they played with them with dirty hands etc and the rejections.

I just asked my daughter in a very unbiased way if she wished I hadn't got her ears pierced (now keep in mind we've never talked about it before) and her response was "no way!" I said but would you have preferred to choose it for yourself. To which she replied "Mum you know what I'm like with needles/pain... if you didn't do it I don't know that I ever would have."

So maybe I'm just lucky but that is why I did it because that is how I felt too.

So not all mothers do it out of their own selfish reasons. I know I didn't. And can I just say I've heard mothers say the opposite too... I have a gf who said she wasn't going to get it done because she wanted to take her to get it done when she was old enough to feel and remember the pain so she wouldn't go nuts and get herself pierced all over in her teens. And I know this isn't the case as I know plenty of people who never had their ears pierced but went on to have many piercings.

Just because it is not something you would do please don't make assumptions about another persons reasons for why they make the parenting choices they are. I am not a monster nor am I ignorant or sadistic.

[MummaSue]

My friend is from Goa, but she lives here now. She has a 9 month old daughter and her family have been pressuring her to get her DD's ears pierced since birth
That's the norm in their culture. She was shocked to hear my thoughts on the matter and how I expressed the pain that the little girl was in when I pierced her ears. She didn't think it hurt!!

[Lulu]

but why?

It was never on my radar until this thread either! Just curious. I'm not thinking along the lines of mutilation and I know it's sometimes cultural.

I LOVE those little bangles too, they rock my world. If I could have afforded that beautiful gold Beth would have been adorned from wrist to ankle.

It just seems so young to have them done before....I dunno - 5?

[Rouge]

Lucy in my experience its best young or older. In between are more susceptible to infection because kids fiddle. DD never touched them EVER. Still doesn't.

I don't know how else to explain it other than I already have.

[Lulu]

Fiddle factor? I get it.

I was happy to make DD wait till she was 11, I spose I don't think it's that important.

However 26 piercings from the age of 16 to 18 prove that they are rather important to HER

[Fleur]

I was 7 when I got mine done & had nothing but problems with them (but that is still the case & just my ears I think). Panda was about 6 I think when she got hers done. I'm not a huge fan of pierced ears on babies but that's JMO. I do agree with everyone else about not going behind your DH's back though - as one PP put it, you have to think about if the situation were reversed, how would you feel.

I have a gf who said she wasn't going to get it done because she wanted to take her to get it done when she was old enough to feel and remember the pain so she wouldn't go nuts and get herself pierced all over in her teens.

Had to laugh at that, if only it were that easy! I have a daughter who is so bad with any kind of pain - that is apart from that which she chooses to inflict on herself - she has pierced her own ears 6 times now, by herself and is continually nagging for more piercings - this is the same girl that it takes me weeks to get her in for a blood test because she "doesn't like needles"...

[toomanyshoes]

IHad to laugh at that, if only it were that easy! I have a daughter who is so bad with any kind of pain - that is apart from that which she chooses to inflict on herself - she has pierced her own ears 6 times now, by herself and is continually nagging for more piercings - this is the same girl that it takes me weeks to get her in for a blood test because she "doesn't like needles"...

Can totally relate, I go white at the thought of a blood test/injection but I'll happily sit in a piercers chair!

[angelaartsstudent]

Can totally relate, I go white at the thought of a blood test/injection but I'll happily sit in a piercers chair!

LOL I am a sicko and will watch ALL needles, piercings and medical procedures on myself. I even watched the Dr cut out my Implanon when it was causing me trouble...and it was hard to get out becuase of a huge amount of scar tissue around it.

But I watch all piercings I've had!

[Eng]

I had DD done when she was 7 months old, never had any problems with them, however I did go to a pro not just the run of the mile hairdresser.. They numbed her ear with some cream and DD didnt even flinch nor did she cry.

Now that she is 3 1/2 years old she loves them..

I had mine done when I was 6 months old and Im so greatful my mother did them when I was little cos I cant stand needles and for me it worked out well..

If it was me I think you and your DP need to sit down and talk about it.. I wouldnt do it on the sneak.. But thats me.. Good luck I hope you find out what works for you..

[toomanyshoes]

I had my ears pierced when I was 6. I had two more ear piercings when I was 14. I had my belly button pierced at 18, my tongue pierced at 21, and two tattoos at 22 and 26 respectively. All the piercings and tattoos were reflections of my personality and self-expression (although at 6, I could have waited a few years and arguably wasn't able to comprehend the event) and so I am also curious as to why parents would make that choice for their little babies. To me, it seems to be more about the parents (seemingly from many of the above posts, the mother in particular) and not about the little girls.

hahaha I'm so not listing my past piercings

I had my ears first done when little, with a gun and had nothing but problems and took them out. I wanted to have them redone in year 11 and went to a qualified piercer and never had a problem.