Hun anxiety is awful and I know what it's like to get very worked up over what should be a 'minor' issue related to sleep.
I think this is just his way of self settling. 20-30 minutes is a normal time frame to settle down from fully awake to fully asleep. I agree with a PP to look at what you are thinking while he is settling and to try to challenge those thoughts or otherwise distract yourself until he is asleep. Remind yourself that he is normal, that other mum's (myself included!) would love to have such a consistent sleeper, that winding down after the day is normal, adults need to do it and so do babies. My DS is 22 months and he is still grumbling and moaning himself to sleep and that is on a good night. I guess it's all relative but to me it's a sign that your DS is a good sleeper that you are not in here posting about how to cope with crying, calling out and screaming at bedtimes.
Perhaps read up on sleep, sleep cycles, the process of falling asleep (in terms of brain wave activity etc). Maybe knowing the physiology behind sleep, going to sleep and waking up will help ease your anxiety?
it's totally normal and healthy and definitely not a sign of bad sleep or impending bad sleep habits.
as for the anxiety, i have been there with a PTSD that also had me quite anxious with the noises that bubba makes when going to sleep (and waking as well in my case!). so what i have learnt to do over the years is put the kids in bed, draw a glass of wine and head outside in the back and rest under the trees after a hard days work . i found that it helps heaps as you tend to not hear the noises or focus on them so much. every now and then i get up and check that they are not upset or crying etc and then head back out. nice way to end the day i reckon!
Thank you all so much for your replies, its comforting to know that it seems fairly normal.
Santosha - Its hard to pinpoint exactly what is going through my head, but I suppose its a mix of feeling like he should be sleeping, he's not doing what he's supposed to be doing, what if he won't sleep? I think a lot of it has to do with control - I put him to bed to sleep, and he isn't (well, he does eventually, but at that moment it feels like he'll never go to sleep) I dunno...I know it sounds so silly, and it is.
Kaz - Thanks, I think that might be a good idea, I'll try to look into the physiology behind falling asleep. That would help I think.
Cassius2 - Sorry to hear about your PTSD I think that my problem is that I listen too much to the noises he makes. It would be so much easier for me to just go into my room and close the door and read a magazine or something. But a stupid part of me feels like if I sit and listen to it enough, that somehow I will get 'used' to the noises he makes and I'll be ok. Well...1 year on and thats not working!! Perhaps I just need to accept that its best for me not to listen, so long as I keep checking up on him.
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. i found that it helps heaps as you tend to not hear the noises or focus on them so much. every now and then i get up and check that they are not upset or crying etc and then head back out. nice way to end the day i reckon!
I think that my problem is that I listen too much to the noises he makes. It would be so much easier for me to just go into my room and close the door and read a magazine or something. But a stupid part of me feels like if I sit and listen to it enough, that somehow I will get 'used' to the noises he makes and I'll be ok. Well...1 year on and thats not working!! Perhaps I just need to accept that its best for me not to listen, so long as I keep checking up on him.
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