Please help me! Tired, frustrated & over it (vent included)
Let me start by saying I am totally supportive of others peoples parenting techniques whatever they choose.
DD2 I need suggestions that don't involve co- sleeping please (if possible)
DD1 - I just need some reassurance.
This post also includes some venting.
DD2 is such a velcro baby. Yes - I know she is 2 weeks old but I can't cope with continuing down this road. She wants to feed/comfort suck every hour or so (this is better than the 30 - 45mins we had). I can't get her to have a dummy of any type (we have so far tried 3 different brands). I wrap her and put her down and she SCREAMS I give her to DH even just long enough for me to go to the toilet and she SCREAMS I have to cuddle her to get her to sleep or have her in bed with me until she goes to sleep but as soon as I put her back in her own bed she'll only be there for 5mins max and she SCREAMS
Last night I got so frustrated that when she woke AGAIN i threw the blankets and yelled. I felt horrible, I felt like I was failing as a mum because I couldn't settle my daughter. I know shes only little, I know she can't communicate unless its through crying, I know all this. I'm just at my wits end. Neither DH or I want to co sleep. I need 5mins to myself. I need to be able to put her down for 5mins without her screaming. I feed, change, burp and play - all the things I know I have to do. I just can't settle her!
I'm tired and frustrated and completely over it.
Last night I hung my shirt I had worn during the day over the side of the bassinet thinking maybe if she could smell me she might settle but nope didn't work. I'm going to see if anyone has a sling I can borrow and try. I don't have the money to spend on one to start with and it not work.
DD1 has gone from sleeping through to waking 2 -3 times a night. Please tell me this is just an age thing? I yelled at her last night too all because she wanted another bottle! The look on her face when I did that just broke my heart and made me feel so much worse.
We are already having issues with her not eating - I figure she'll eat when shes hungry.
ATM I just feel like i'm failing in so many ways. The only stimulation DD1 has had over the last week is 2 trips to the park and a daycare day. Every days she's with me we read and watch tv because DD2 is permanently attached to my boobs! I can't settle DD2, DD1 isn't getting any of my attention, I'm exhausted, DH is helping out where he can but I just feel like it's all falling down around me.
Does anyone have any other suggestions that we can try please???
For DD2 you could try a hammock or even one of those electric swings & slings can be very useful with Velcro babies, My DD2 was the same & the HAB worked so well for us.
As for DD1 we went through the same thing & she started sleeping through the night again once she got use to have a little sister, i'm sure your DD will do the same.
Your not failing those first few weeks are hard but things will get easier
Oh hun Your dd2 sounds exactly like my ds1 was with all the screaming. The only time he was happy was if he was sucking (boob, bottle, anything really!) It turned out he had silent reflux and the screaming was from the milk buring up and down his oesophagus everytime I tried to lay him down. The only time he was 'happy' was if he was bolt upright on my chest. I had to sit with a dead straight back and hold him upright. That way there was less chance of the milk burning and his tummy was warm against my body. Does any of this sound like what your dd2 is doing? Might be worth a trip to the gp or paed to have a chat. We ended up on medication and did all the standard things to help reflux.
Sorry if I've gone off on a reflux tangent there, I can feel your pain with the amount of screaming and lack of sleep. Hang in there hun.
Dd1 will be fine, throw some old sheets over your dining chairs, put some cushions underneath and she can have a cubby house to play in! Should keep her entertained for a little while! Maybe a special morning tea in there for her and her teddies???
I'm feeling for you. I remember it well, it feels like it will never end, but it will .
Some settling suggestions I'll throw at you:
* Does she like the bath? Maybe a bath and massage will help calm her down.
* Could she have wind issues? DD had awful wind issues, I used Infacol before each feed (you can use Infacol from 3 days old, despite what the bottle says - my MCHN told me ) and would stop feeding her every 4-5 minutes - burp her - then put her back on. This made a huge difference. A friend has a bub who had really bad wind. She started bathing her twice a day and it has completely fixed the problem.
* Can you get your hands on a baby hammock? I used one for DS1 (and now with DD) and it was a life saver. He would only sleep in my arms until we bought one. They are great if your bub has reflux too, because it keeps their head raised. I would put DS1 in his hammock and bounce him off to sleep in it and he would stay asleep. If he woke up, I'd just bounce him again.
* It could be reflux, I am no expert though! It might be worth chatting with your MCHN or GP.
* Take her to a paediatric chiro. They have great success with unsettled babies, they can resolve issues like colic, relux, wind, etc. The one I take my babies to is extremely gentle, no bone "crunching". This might be the answer you are looking for, it was for me!
* Settling in her cot/cradle: A trick that worked well for DS2 was to wrap him tight, put him on his side, pat his back and make a loud "Shhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhh" sound in his ear. He would settle pretty quickly and once he was asleep I could roll him onto his back.
* Keep persisting with a dummy! I know it is annoying, but she might eventually take one. It took 3 months for DD to take one, but it was a lifesaver when she finally did! We use the Avent ones.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you LOL! I just thought I'd throw some suggestions at you
Your DD1 will be fine, this stage won't last and she won't remember it, I promise . The waking overnight might just be because of all the changes. Both my boys did this to me when a new bub arrived and it did pass.
Yeah I was going to suggest a reflux type thing - DD1 was exactly the same when she was a baby. So thats something to defintely get checked out. My mum always says that babies cry for a reason, even if we don't know what it is
And as for your DD1, you know we have struggled with DD1's sleep here (who is the same age as yours) and we just give her a bottle now when she wakes up, otherwise she can be awake for HOURS. We find if we give her a bottle she is more than happy to settle in her own bed again.
One of the above ladies already mentioned what I was going to lol. My DD2 had horrible silent reflux and colic together so you can imagine the outcome. With a combination of medicines it did settle down but it took until she was over 18 months old.
Get it checked asap and put your mind to rest. You're doing a great job and being sleep deprived is no small thing. xxx
My DS was a very clingy baby which was a huge shock after DD..
I wasn't a carrier fan, but had to with him because I would have had my hands free.. I used the close carrier..
Would a baby swing work, so she still has movement to help her sleep? I also found DS slept better in the bassinette in the loungeroom where he could hear me going about my day..
And you are doing a great job.. The first few weeks with a newborn and a toddler and sleep deprivation are hard! I think we try to give our older child(ren) the same amount of attention they received before the baby came along, and it is just impossible, your DD1 will adapt and won't remember this phase as a bad time..
I was also going to suggest reflux - both DD1 and DD2 were like that and it looked like reflux because they screwed their little faces up like they were in pain before waking up. Keeping DD2 upright in a HAB after a feed was an incredibly useful way to settle her and to stop the need to feed constantly. They feed to try to make themselves feel better which can add to the problem if it is reflux. We ended up having to use gaviscon for infants - it is not for tiny tiny babies though so you should probably have a chat to your GP or CHN before using it.
It's not easy dealing with an unsettled baby. You are only human and you can only do what you can do. Make sure that you take care of yourself and have some time out when you need it. Don't beat yourself up about getting angry, we have all done things like that when we are tired, overwhelmed and sleep deprived. You are doing a great job. It's not easy.
Hang onto the fact that this too shall pass. It won't go on forever.
I'm glad that DD2 got some sleep last night - I hope you did too. sleep depravation is a terrible and dangerous thing.
loads of lovely ladies have given you plenty of ideas to try, and most of my thoughts have already been sent through to you ...
my only other idea is wondering whether more skin-to-skin time with dad would help, and whether if you expressed for a day and bottle fed, whether this would give you a bit of a break physically and emotionally - and you would also be able to see for certain how much she's drinking? to get an idea of whether she is actually over or under feeding?
but huge hugs to you, and please keep us updated. and don't feel guilty about getting angry - I think anyone in your showes probably would, and you're doing your best to be the most loving mum you can be.
I hope you're able to have someone mind the kids even for 10 minutes every now and then, so you can get outside alone, or have a long hot shower or something, just to stay sand xoxo
So dr today confirmed his pretty sure it's reflux. His given us some Zantac to try so have given tonight. So it works
Last night was the best night we've had since we came home from hospital. Miss J slept through the night and Miss S only woke 4 times and seemed to settle ok, a bit restless but ok. We were co sleeping though so maybe that helped.
i'm feeling heaps better ok after a relatively good night sleep.
Honey, i dont have any advice i just wanted to pop in and give you :hugs: and tell you, you are not failing anything. The only thing i can think of for the crying is maybe shes to hot? to cold? over-tired or uncomfortable?
When my DS was a couple of weeks old he was exactly like your DD, The best way i found possible to get him to sleep (during the day) was to go for a drive whilst he fell asleep and put on a cd of the rainforest/soothing music.or put him in the pram and take him for a walk. I dont know if this would work for you but it could also mean spending time with your DD1 walking to the park, driving around etc ywim? of a evening i used to give DS a warm bath and a light massage and a little play again i dont know if this would work for your DD just a few ideas.
Please help me! Tired, frustrated & over it (vent included)
I give her to DH even just long enough for me to go to the toilet and she SCREAMS
I yelled at her last night too all because she wanted another bottle! The look on her face when I did that just broke my heart and made me feel so much worse.
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) and would stop feeding her every 4-5 minutes - burp her - then put her back on. This made a huge difference. A friend has a bub who had really bad wind. She started bathing her twice a day and it has completely fixed the problem.
His given us some Zantac to try so have given tonight. So 
it works 
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