Oh hun Your dd2 sounds exactly like my ds1 was with all the screaming. The only time he was happy was if he was sucking (boob, bottle, anything really!) It turned out he had silent reflux and the screaming was from the milk buring up and down his oesophagus everytime I tried to lay him down. The only time he was 'happy' was if he was bolt upright on my chest. I had to sit with a dead straight back and hold him upright. That way there was less chance of the milk burning and his tummy was warm against my body. Does any of this sound like what your dd2 is doing? Might be worth a trip to the gp or paed to have a chat. We ended up on medication and did all the standard things to help reflux.
Sorry if I've gone off on a reflux tangent there, I can feel your pain with the amount of screaming and lack of sleep. Hang in there hun.
Dd1 will be fine, throw some old sheets over your dining chairs, put some cushions underneath and she can have a cubby house to play in! Should keep her entertained for a little while! Maybe a special morning tea in there for her and her teddies???
I'm feeling for you. I remember it well, it feels like it will never end, but it will .
Some settling suggestions I'll throw at you:
* Does she like the bath? Maybe a bath and massage will help calm her down.
* Could she have wind issues? DD had awful wind issues, I used Infacol before each feed (you can use Infacol from 3 days old, despite what the bottle says - my MCHN told me ) and would stop feeding her every 4-5 minutes - burp her - then put her back on. This made a huge difference. A friend has a bub who had really bad wind. She started bathing her twice a day and it has completely fixed the problem.
* Can you get your hands on a baby hammock? I used one for DS1 (and now with DD) and it was a life saver. He would only sleep in my arms until we bought one. They are great if your bub has reflux too, because it keeps their head raised. I would put DS1 in his hammock and bounce him off to sleep in it and he would stay asleep. If he woke up, I'd just bounce him again.
* It could be reflux, I am no expert though! It might be worth chatting with your MCHN or GP.
* Take her to a paediatric chiro. They have great success with unsettled babies, they can resolve issues like colic, relux, wind, etc. The one I take my babies to is extremely gentle, no bone "crunching". This might be the answer you are looking for, it was for me!
* Settling in her cot/cradle: A trick that worked well for DS2 was to wrap him tight, put him on his side, pat his back and make a loud "Shhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhh" sound in his ear. He would settle pretty quickly and once he was asleep I could roll him onto his back.
* Keep persisting with a dummy! I know it is annoying, but she might eventually take one. It took 3 months for DD to take one, but it was a lifesaver when she finally did! We use the Avent ones.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you LOL! I just thought I'd throw some suggestions at you
Your DD1 will be fine, this stage won't last and she won't remember it, I promise . The waking overnight might just be because of all the changes. Both my boys did this to me when a new bub arrived and it did pass.
Yeah I was going to suggest a reflux type thing - DD1 was exactly the same when she was a baby. So thats something to defintely get checked out. My mum always says that babies cry for a reason, even if we don't know what it is
And as for your DD1, you know we have struggled with DD1's sleep here (who is the same age as yours) and we just give her a bottle now when she wakes up, otherwise she can be awake for HOURS. We find if we give her a bottle she is more than happy to settle in her own bed again.
One of the above ladies already mentioned what I was going to lol. My DD2 had horrible silent reflux and colic together so you can imagine the outcome. With a combination of medicines it did settle down but it took until she was over 18 months old.
Get it checked asap and put your mind to rest. You're doing a great job and being sleep deprived is no small thing. xxx
My DS was a very clingy baby which was a huge shock after DD..
I wasn't a carrier fan, but had to with him because I would have had my hands free.. I used the close carrier..
Would a baby swing work, so she still has movement to help her sleep? I also found DS slept better in the bassinette in the loungeroom where he could hear me going about my day..
And you are doing a great job.. The first few weeks with a newborn and a toddler and sleep deprivation are hard! I think we try to give our older child(ren) the same amount of attention they received before the baby came along, and it is just impossible, your DD1 will adapt and won't remember this phase as a bad time..
I was also going to suggest reflux - both DD1 and DD2 were like that and it looked like reflux because they screwed their little faces up like they were in pain before waking up. Keeping DD2 upright in a HAB after a feed was an incredibly useful way to settle her and to stop the need to feed constantly. They feed to try to make themselves feel better which can add to the problem if it is reflux. We ended up having to use gaviscon for infants - it is not for tiny tiny babies though so you should probably have a chat to your GP or CHN before using it.
It's not easy dealing with an unsettled baby. You are only human and you can only do what you can do. Make sure that you take care of yourself and have some time out when you need it. Don't beat yourself up about getting angry, we have all done things like that when we are tired, overwhelmed and sleep deprived. You are doing a great job. It's not easy.
Hang onto the fact that this too shall pass. It won't go on forever.
Huge sweetie. You are not a bad mum and you are very capable, this just sounds like a very difficult stage. thinking back it was around Sheriden's age that DD was really tricky. It took a while for her to take the dummy but it worked in the end. I had to hold it in there for to get the hang of it but it helped.
Do you have a fit ball? I used to sit on that and hold DD tight against me and bounce. It would put her to sleep. Also from 4 weeks, I started to put her in the bouncer. That way I could have some hands free time. I would bounce it with my foot and she would fall asleep. I would gradually stop bouncing when she fell asleep. The bouncer had a vibration thing on it and having that little bit of movement worked. Also noise worked, she hated being in a quiet space as it would wake her up. So havingthe TV or radio on for consistent noise might help, it also drowns out any sudden noises that DD2 might make. I know putting them in a bouncer is controversial but it worked for DD and I can lend you ours if you dont have one.
I cant help with the slings as I dont own any but its lovely that some of the beautiful ladies on here have offered.
At night time, I tried to do the whole bassinette thing but it didnt really work. I ended up co-cleeping for the first 3-4mths as I actually got more sleep. I know that you dont want to do this but it doesnt have to be forever. DD went to her cot at 4.5mths and was sleeping through 12hours by 6mths.
I know how you feel, my DS was like this and it was hard enough having just him let alone an older DD! I'm gonna say reflux too, that's what DS had and after a week on medicine he was great! I found that bouncing DS on my knee really helped and being on his tummy upright on me too. If your bub does this I think that she likely has silent reflux! Have you got a bouncer? That's useful to getting them off to sleep, the bouncing somehow helps with the burning if that makes sense? We let DS sleep in our pram during the day because he could sleep upright, he loved it!
With the dummy, maybe try offering the dummy straight from boob when she's sleepy (when she's done feeding obviously) - she might be less likely to notice the difference in it and gradually get used to it enough to take it when she's awake?
I really, really hope you get some sleep soon. You are doing a fantastic job, take some deep breaths and remind yourself!
I'm glad that DD2 got some sleep last night - I hope you did too. sleep depravation is a terrible and dangerous thing.
loads of lovely ladies have given you plenty of ideas to try, and most of my thoughts have already been sent through to you ...
my only other idea is wondering whether more skin-to-skin time with dad would help, and whether if you expressed for a day and bottle fed, whether this would give you a bit of a break physically and emotionally - and you would also be able to see for certain how much she's drinking? to get an idea of whether she is actually over or under feeding?
but huge hugs to you, and please keep us updated. and don't feel guilty about getting angry - I think anyone in your showes probably would, and you're doing your best to be the most loving mum you can be.
I hope you're able to have someone mind the kids even for 10 minutes every now and then, so you can get outside alone, or have a long hot shower or something, just to stay sand xoxo
So dr today confirmed his pretty sure it's reflux. His given us some Zantac to try so have given tonight. So it works
Last night was the best night we've had since we came home from hospital. Miss J slept through the night and Miss S only woke 4 times and seemed to settle ok, a bit restless but ok. We were co sleeping though so maybe that helped.
i'm feeling heaps better ok after a relatively good night sleep.
Your dd2 sounds exactly like my ds1 was with all the screaming. The only time he was happy was if he was sucking (boob, bottle, anything really!) It turned out he had silent reflux and the screaming was from the milk buring up and down his oesophagus everytime I tried to lay him down. The only time he was 'happy' was if he was bolt upright on my chest. I had to sit with a dead straight back and hold him upright. That way there was less chance of the milk burning and his tummy was warm against my body. Does any of this sound like what your dd2 is doing? Might be worth a trip to the gp or paed to have a chat. We ended up on medication and did all the standard things to help reflux.
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) and would stop feeding her every 4-5 minutes - burp her - then put her back on. This made a huge difference. A friend has a bub who had really bad wind. She started bathing her twice a day and it has completely fixed the problem.
His given us some Zantac to try so have given tonight. So 
it works 
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