Sleep has always been the biggest issue in our household. My little boy is 2 in October and is still breastfeeding. I stuffed up when he was newborn and let him breastfeed to sleep and now nearly two years later am still suffering the consequences. He won't sleep in his own bed, never slept in his own cot, will only sleep with me in the spare room and must have breast milk to fall asleep (or the car - then will need breast milk to settle once he's been brought in from car). I have a husband who isn't overly supportive and "knows everything" and believes that our son "just needs his Mum" but he won't transition from REM to deep sleep as he can't self settle. Any help??????????
It's so hard when you're sleep deprived but i wanted to offer big hugs as i know what you're going through! you haven't 'stuffed up' at all!! It's fantastic that you're bf your little one but i know from experience what a dynamic and challenging journey that can be.
If you're looking for a book to read to offer some ideas of solutions, many on here recommend Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution. I tried a few of her strategies, one of which was decrease the feed (in time) before sleep so that you feed to sleepy rather than sleep and then eventually he will be able to self settle. For me it was about changing the bedtime routine. So for one week, i gave a feed close to bedtime but then DH put DD to bed. Sitting in the rocker, lying in bed beside her, whatever worked - and kept offering a cup of water. It wasn't easy the first few days but became the new routine. Once he went back to normal work hrs, i continued the pattern of feeding close to but not at bedtime. so about 10 mins before going to bed. I also introduced a supper just before bed of porridge & or a banana to fill her little belly before sleep.
With DD1, it worked at around 16 mths and DD2 it worked at around 19 mths (she was far more booby dependent). I found with DD2 after a couple of weeks, she started sleeping much better through the night (up till that point it was 5 times a night EVERY NIGHT!!). TBH, it also coincided with all her teeth coming through and there being no more teething pain.
Sorry, i've gone on. If you want to change things, i would look at a few different ideas and strategies then engage DH to step up to help at night. He's had 2 years of more sleep than you so he can help out for a bit now until you find something that works for you. That's what i told my DH anyway!! Good luck!
DD was fed to sleep until she was 9months, so a different age - but I found the thing that worked was, as RoyaUk said, a change in routine - we started doing the bedtime routine differently, it took a week or so, but in the end, we got there and without tears. having said that, the routine has changed a number of times since! We also introduced a teddy for her - she had never shown much interest in one, but I started to put her to sleep with the same teddy and soon it became a sleep association.
And I also second the Elizabeth pantly No cry sleep solution - I may be wrong, but I think she might have released one aimed at toddlers Another thing we introduced was key words which Elizabeth Pantly talks about, which become another sleep association. To start with, you say the words as they are almost asleep, so that they associate them with sleep, and then you'd start saying them earlier in the settling process. Our key words were night, night, sleepy time, see you in the morning.
Good luck, I hope things improve!
OH hun you most defintiely havent stuffed up..you have followed your intincts so thats not a stuff up in my eyes!
The main problem I found in co sleep[ing and feeidnt to sleep was everyone elses opinions made me second guess my own feelings and judgement. None of my family ever so slept so I visited a friend who did it with all of her kids and she made me feel so much better and happy with my choices.
If you really want to wean him from BM and co cleeping then go about it very gradually and calmly. If it doesnt work out one night dont stress about it just ket hime sleep with you and try again the nect night. the slower and more gradual it is the better for both of you. the no cry sleep soloution is great as to "helping your baby to sleep" which you can buy in the BellyBelly online store I believe.
oh wow i actually feel so so much better. I cannot thank you all enough for taking a few moments out to reply to my thread I had heard of Tizzie Hall, but not Elizabeth Pantly - I'll definitely look into that one. Thank you so much for the advice and support - everyone I know just says "tough love - it's hard, but you gotta let them cry it out it's the only way they'll learn" but it just isn't working for us. He sobbed his little heart out last night and when i couldn't bear it any more and opened his door, his little eyes were all red and puffy and he rushed to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist and wouldn't let go for anything. I felt so horrible for doing it to him and I vowed never ever again!! I honestly think the psychological effect is way too damaging for the sleep factor. The little love then fell asleep in my arms on the sofa and slept from 10pm til 2am without waking up which is the longest stretch he's done in ages bless his heart. I don't mind co-sleeping when I'M ready to go to bed, but i need him to sleep by himself til at least 2am first!!!
Thank you thank you thank you all for being so lovely. I will definitely look into this no cry sleep thing
xoxoxoxoxo
Oh hun it must have been heartwrenching listening to him cry I have never let my babies cry and my 3 yr old sleeps all night now in his own bed....and you know what I miss him being in bed with me So they will sleep eventually
I dont I would sleep very happily after crying my eyes out! go with your heart hun they are only little once...and you are the mum so it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks if YOUR happy with feeding him sto sleep and co sleeping then do it! Your doing a top job xxx
Please help - Serious Sleep Dramas...
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OH hun you most defintiely havent stuffed up..you have followed your intincts so thats not a stuff up in my eyes! 
I had heard of Tizzie Hall, but not Elizabeth Pantly - I'll definitely look into that one. Thank you so much for the advice and support - everyone I know just says "tough love - it's hard, but you gotta let them cry it out it's the only way they'll learn" but it just isn't working for us. He sobbed his little heart out last night and when i couldn't bear it any more and opened his door, his little eyes were all red and puffy and he rushed to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist and wouldn't let go for anything. I felt so horrible for doing it to him and I vowed never ever again!! I honestly think the psychological effect is way too damaging for the sleep factor. The little love then fell asleep in my arms on the sofa and slept from 10pm til 2am without waking up which is the longest stretch he's done in ages bless his heart. I don't mind co-sleeping when I'M ready to go to bed, but i need him to sleep by himself til at least 2am first!!! 
I have never let my babies cry and my 3 yr old sleeps all night now in his own bed....and you know what I miss him being in bed with me 
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