I ran Family Daycare before having my babies and can tell you this is completely normal behaviour - especially with the TT regression. There are only a few things in an older toddler/early pre-schoolers life they have control over - and TT is one of them!
Nappies are probably not a great idea, unless DD hates them.....or you don't mind starting all over again.
As for the tantrums, they are at an age where they are entirely ego-centric and can't (even if they wanted to) see outside of what they are feeling within themselves. This is why their reactions over the smallest things seem so over the top and hard for an adult to understand.
It's great that you encourage talking after the meltdown - keep up with that. Also respect that she is probably feeling frustrated, angry, tired, sad (whatever the case may be) and her only way of dealing with these emotions are emotional outbursts.
As she gets older you can try some control tactics - in that you give her a few tricks to try when she feels herself losing control. But for the minute my best advice is to ride the wave
I'd recommend a book called Toddler Taming by Dr Green - this will give you a really good understanding of what's "normal" and what you can expect until school age xx
Jordie- We are having very similar meltdowns here too. DD will be 3 in September. Today she had a meltdown because she wanted her sisters drink. It involved screaming, yelling crying, flailing of arms and she would not listen to reason. All this in the middle of a shopping centre. I am sure if i got my "Science Of Parenting" or Toddler Tactics out it would explain why kids start having meltdowns at this age. Maybe i should do that. hmmmm. I haven't seen many other kids around DD's age lately, so it's reassuring to hear others are having similar issues.
I am in the same boat too and its horrible. I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass".
JM I got out my science of parenting today, just need time to sit and read it lol.
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can you do a quick summery and come back in and post? 
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