The pointing update! (and another speech question!)

[amberj]

For those who have kindly offered me support and advice on my journey with DS "not pointing", I wanted to give you an update.

I did eventually take Peter to the MCHN because the whole thing was playing on my mind a bit and I thought I would just go to put my mind at rest. Hm, perhaps a wrong move!

The long and short of the interview was that she wants Peter to have a hearing test, see a speech pathologist and a pediatrician for a kind of milestone check. Needless to say, none of this reassured me! Her "concern" was one of communication- she also noted that during play Peter did not spend much time turning to me and handing me things and inviting me to join in the play/ show how things worked. She equated this and not pointing as similar 'non-communicative' behaviours.

She did, however, note that he had an unusually high level of concentration for a 16 month old and that he was able to stack more blocks together than she would have thought.

Initially I was a bit freaked out by it all, but in going over it, I think her concern is mis-placed. I know what Peter is like- he was in a new environment with new toys and he just gets involved and completely absorbed by new things (don't all kids?). DH and I are very much the same- we can easily get lost in new things and go into our own world. At home, he hands us stuff all the time and invites us into play a lot, so she really didn't see a proper representation.

And while he doesn't do the classic one finger point, he does reach out to things to make it clear what he wants.

So all in all I was largely able to dismiss what she said and trust my own instinct (which, by the way, is a great thing for me since I am a chronic worrier!).

But the only thing that sticks me with and forms the basis of my question for today is about speech. It startled me that she wanted us to see a speech pathologist. Peter can say 'dada' with purpose, but no other clear words. He imitates animal noises when we show him pictures in books, he says "meow" at the cats, he babbles away, although mainly with one or two main noises (dadadadada and glaglaglagla). He clearly understand words and simple commands ("Peter go get a book", "go get your socks"). I didn't think there was anything unusual about any of this, but can I ask you all when your LOs started talking- ie- really starting to use several different words (not as a sentence).

Thanks for all your wonderful comments in the past everyone!

[kirsty_lee]

This is why I have never taken Ava to a MCHN, i just don't like them. As for Ava's words... um.. at like 13-14 months ava wasn't overly talking like using tonnes of words and since 16 months her words have been

mummy, daddy, meow, woof, "ta", ball, Yes, No, Nigh Nigh, book, Juice, Bot Bot, Bath and that's all i can really think of, I think that was it. But once she hit like 17 months and now, she says new words all the time. I think if Peter got to like 2.5 years old and wasn't talking then you'd be worried ya know

[beckoes]

I too never took DD to see anyone, she has always been happy and healthy and i think too many times mums are told things by these people and the stress it causes is more harmfull than a a bit of delayed pointing!!! ON the other hand, if there was a problem you wouldnt want to ignore it!!
DD is 14 months and has quite a few words but a good friend of mines 23 month old had NO real words untill about a month ago when he just woke up one day a basically started talking sentences!!!! everyone was telling her all sorts of things but she knew her child was just a bit inward and luckily didnt worry about it. Now he probably talks more than other 23 months olds!
Every baby is SO different, and like you said, try to trust you insticts . hugs

[lestyrox]

Hi amberj,
Fisrtly i want to say that your DS is probably developing normally and there's nothing to worry about BUT it doesn't hurt to get all the facts and cover your bases, even if it is just for your piece of mind.

My ds is 3 and we are in the process of getting a formal diagnosis of autism, i am thinking possible asperges/high functioning autism. The last thing i want to do is scare you, i know us mum's stress about anything and everything when it comes to our precious children but if you have the slightest bit of doubt i think you should follow it up. I always thought my ds was 'different' but just thought he was a bit quirky or was just developing in his own way, now when i look back i can see all the things i missed or dismissed were part of a bigger picture. I held out talking to the MCHN until ds was over 2 and by that stage i was a wreck inside from the years of worry.
The thing that stood out to me was how you said the MCHN noticed his long attention span and lack of two and fro communication, that was exactly like my ds. he would get engrossed in an object/thing and shut off from everything else. He had amazing fine motor skills but was often in his own world..didn't want to join in with the other kids at playgroup, didn't play with all the cool toys all the kids had, he instead just wanted to open and close doors, puch buttons, play with nobs/switches etc. There was always a fog there, like he wasn't quite switched on or aware as other kids but it wasn't blaringly obvious he was different, it was just all the little things..
He waved once at 16 or 17months and then stopped and didn't wave again until he was over 2. He was late to point as well and often pointed with his whole hand. at 18months he was saying mumma, dadda and uh (up) but that was it. His first 'real' word was wower (flower) and he said that at 2yrs 2months when he and his daddy came to see me and his new brother in hospotal for the first time.

my DH won't talk about it because the thought of there being anything to worry about with DS makes him too uncomfortable

my husband was exactly the same. He found it extremely hard to except that his little boy was different so everytime i brought it up he'd become defensive so i stopped bringing it up and i felt like i had no one to talk to about it.

Again, i don't want to scare you but if you have concerns then a check with the pead can't hurt. As someone else said early intervention is so important and can have amazing results. Of course if everything ends up being fine then you have nothing to worry about, i have friends who were worried about their bub not talking/walking etc and they turned out fine. But sometimes, like was the case with my ds, it can be part of a bigger picture.

sorry for the long ramble. HTH.

[lestyrox]

I thought i'd add this website (i hope i'm allowed to? Mods feel free to take it off if not)

ASD Video Glossary: About

I wish i found this website earlier. It has a really good collection of videos of kids playing/interacting. You can observe 'nerotypical' kids doing an activity/play and then non neurotypical kids doing the same activity/play. It really helped me to see the subtle problems ds has with interaction and communication.

I hope it helps

[Marlene]

Wow...she sounds very keen to get you to see lots of specialists!! Are you sure she doesn't get a commission? LOL
I think you need to use your mummy instinct here.
Jack is 17 months and he really only says "mumma" "dadda" and will say "hello" when playing with a phone (or anything that looks like a phone, LOL), and will say "where?" when he's looking for something or someone.
He will reach out for things that he wants...and has really only just started pointing at things with a purpose. For example every time we drive across the train tracks he will point down the train line and say "where?"

In my humble opinion it really doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about...but I think you already know that.

[diannescruffy]

I'm really glad you took Peter to MCHN just for your own peace of mind. It really bugs me that they take everything by the book. They always go by milestones and if something isn't happening by a certain time, something is wrong. After having 4 I can tell you that they develop at different stages and by what you have said Peter sounds like he is doing everything right. Hun always go with your gut feeling.

Regards,
Dianne

[Doing my best]

I don't think there is anything wrong with his speech (or my DD has a problem too)..

She didn't really start a great lot of words till about 18 months. But over the past few months, she is coming out with new words every day..

I am not knocking your MCHN, but some people can only reproduce what they have learnt in books, and have trouble putting that with real life experiences.

Personally the only one I would be inclined to go to for peace of mind would be the paed. He/she will forward you on to the others if they have concerns.

[luna moth]

The reason she is being so cautious is firstly because she is playing it on the safe side, as the entire medical and early childhood professions generally do. So much litigation out there in general, and she doesn't know who is going to turn around and sue her for missing something.
The other reason is that IF there is an issue, early intervention works. And the earlier it is caught the better. This early, signs of something bigger can manifest themselves as small things, like having an unusually long concentration span. Chronic worrier or not, open your mind to the possibility that she actually wants the best for your child. Might be nothing, yeah, sure. But better to hear that it's nothing from an expert, don't you think?

[amberj]

You're right, Snugglybean, and she said as much to me, that she was acting on the cautious side. I very much appreciate where she was coming from and have certainly thought a lot about her advice, and yet I don't take it as gospel either.

I actually have spoken to a paediatrician on an informal basis, who didn't seem concerned, and I will raise the issue with my GP when I next see him. I appreciate the need for early intervention and recognise I am not an expert, so I'm not ignoring the matter completely- but neither am I stressing- which for me is great!