The pointing update! (and another speech question!)

[amberj]

For those who have kindly offered me support and advice on my journey with DS "not pointing", I wanted to give you an update.

I did eventually take Peter to the MCHN because the whole thing was playing on my mind a bit and I thought I would just go to put my mind at rest. Hm, perhaps a wrong move!

The long and short of the interview was that she wants Peter to have a hearing test, see a speech pathologist and a pediatrician for a kind of milestone check. Needless to say, none of this reassured me! Her "concern" was one of communication- she also noted that during play Peter did not spend much time turning to me and handing me things and inviting me to join in the play/ show how things worked. She equated this and not pointing as similar 'non-communicative' behaviours.

She did, however, note that he had an unusually high level of concentration for a 16 month old and that he was able to stack more blocks together than she would have thought.

Initially I was a bit freaked out by it all, but in going over it, I think her concern is mis-placed. I know what Peter is like- he was in a new environment with new toys and he just gets involved and completely absorbed by new things (don't all kids?). DH and I are very much the same- we can easily get lost in new things and go into our own world. At home, he hands us stuff all the time and invites us into play a lot, so she really didn't see a proper representation.

And while he doesn't do the classic one finger point, he does reach out to things to make it clear what he wants.

So all in all I was largely able to dismiss what she said and trust my own instinct (which, by the way, is a great thing for me since I am a chronic worrier!).

But the only thing that sticks me with and forms the basis of my question for today is about speech. It startled me that she wanted us to see a speech pathologist. Peter can say 'dada' with purpose, but no other clear words. He imitates animal noises when we show him pictures in books, he says "meow" at the cats, he babbles away, although mainly with one or two main noises (dadadadada and glaglaglagla). He clearly understand words and simple commands ("Peter go get a book", "go get your socks"). I didn't think there was anything unusual about any of this, but can I ask you all when your LOs started talking- ie- really starting to use several different words (not as a sentence).

Thanks for all your wonderful comments in the past everyone!

[kirsty_lee]

This is why I have never taken Ava to a MCHN, i just don't like them. As for Ava's words... um.. at like 13-14 months ava wasn't overly talking like using tonnes of words and since 16 months her words have been

mummy, daddy, meow, woof, "ta", ball, Yes, No, Nigh Nigh, book, Juice, Bot Bot, Bath and that's all i can really think of, I think that was it. But once she hit like 17 months and now, she says new words all the time. I think if Peter got to like 2.5 years old and wasn't talking then you'd be worried ya know

[Marlene]

Wow...she sounds very keen to get you to see lots of specialists!! Are you sure she doesn't get a commission? LOL
I think you need to use your mummy instinct here.
Jack is 17 months and he really only says "mumma" "dadda" and will say "hello" when playing with a phone (or anything that looks like a phone, LOL), and will say "where?" when he's looking for something or someone.
He will reach out for things that he wants...and has really only just started pointing at things with a purpose. For example every time we drive across the train tracks he will point down the train line and say "where?"

In my humble opinion it really doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about...but I think you already know that.

[diannescruffy]

I'm really glad you took Peter to MCHN just for your own peace of mind. It really bugs me that they take everything by the book. They always go by milestones and if something isn't happening by a certain time, something is wrong. After having 4 I can tell you that they develop at different stages and by what you have said Peter sounds like he is doing everything right. Hun always go with your gut feeling.

Regards,
Dianne

[Doing my best]

I don't think there is anything wrong with his speech (or my DD has a problem too)..

She didn't really start a great lot of words till about 18 months. But over the past few months, she is coming out with new words every day..

I am not knocking your MCHN, but some people can only reproduce what they have learnt in books, and have trouble putting that with real life experiences.

Personally the only one I would be inclined to go to for peace of mind would be the paed. He/she will forward you on to the others if they have concerns.

[luna moth]

The reason she is being so cautious is firstly because she is playing it on the safe side, as the entire medical and early childhood professions generally do. So much litigation out there in general, and she doesn't know who is going to turn around and sue her for missing something.
The other reason is that IF there is an issue, early intervention works. And the earlier it is caught the better. This early, signs of something bigger can manifest themselves as small things, like having an unusually long concentration span. Chronic worrier or not, open your mind to the possibility that she actually wants the best for your child. Might be nothing, yeah, sure. But better to hear that it's nothing from an expert, don't you think?

[amberj]

You're right, Snugglybean, and she said as much to me, that she was acting on the cautious side. I very much appreciate where she was coming from and have certainly thought a lot about her advice, and yet I don't take it as gospel either.

I actually have spoken to a paediatrician on an informal basis, who didn't seem concerned, and I will raise the issue with my GP when I next see him. I appreciate the need for early intervention and recognise I am not an expert, so I'm not ignoring the matter completely- but neither am I stressing- which for me is great!

[Powelly]

Hey Amberj,

Ah yes, some MCHN sure know how to throw a spanner in the works! My DS has only JUST started to point, literally a week or two ago. Before this he used to point with his whole hand, but now it is just the finger. He doesn't say many words either. He calls everything a woof-woof, says Mum, Dad, Yes, No and that's about it! He, like Peter, understands instructions like "go and get the book", "put that down", "have a drink" etc. I'm sure your Peter is fine and you are right to trust your instincts. If YOU are worried, seek further advice and don't feel embarassed in doing so. If you aren't too stressed, just see how things go. It seems that with each new week comes a new skill in our little treasures. I tend to forget all too often that DS is only 16 months old. Still pretty young in this world.

Big hugs and hope it all works out!

[Jayney]

I didn't think there was anything wrong with my daughter who is also 16 months but she has been sick lots and we just wanted to check.

We did a hearing test and they found maybe a mild loss but they thought she was just tired of the test so we did the test again 2 months later and...

It shows the same thing in both ears. They checked for fluid and there is none and did another test which just confirmed the first. So now we are waiting to go to Children's Hospital so we can sedate her to check if the sound connects to her brainstem. (they used little electrode stickers on her forehead but they need her to be still and quiet)

At first I thought...she's only little...she's tired...oh but she still doesn't say Dada, or many other words....and she has such a pretty voice (the loss is in the low frequencies)...she doesn't respond when the fan turns on.

I thought that she could hear....I know now that she doesn't.

Go and get your baby's hearing tested...it will be worth the piece of mind.

[Curly]

I would still go ahead with the appointments. A speechie assesses communicative body language as well as actual vocabulary, pronunciation etc. Finding out that it was a waste of time would be the best possible result!

My DS was right on time with pointing but a bit late talking. They are supposed to have a minimum of 5 words at 18 months and most would have more. DS only had 4 words, so we were sent off for hearing tests and speechie assessments. I was quite sure he was fine but I couldn't handle having that seed of doubt, and I was pregnant so I decided if DS needed some help it was better to find out now, before I had a newborn to deal with as well. Hearing was fine, but it was considered that speech therapy was warranted... but they gave me exercises to do with DS first before I committed to a block of speech therapy and the speechie rang and checked on me to see how he was going.

Even though the speechie thought DS could use some speech pathology the assessment had actually reassured me that the MCHN was being cautious more than anything else so I wasn't really worried (especially after I found out that slow speech development can run in families and me and my siblings were all late talkers)...so I decided to leave it and see. Just before the age of 2 he had a "word burst" and we haven't looked back. But I am still glad I had the appointments because I got a professional, non-MCHN assessment of his skills and it really put my mind at rest.

[monnie]

Hey Jessica

I'm a Speechie...and yeah...we are a cautious bunch!

Sounds like the MCHN is just making sure she covers all bases...which is a good thing...as already has been mentioned, early intervention (when there are issues) is always the best way to go.

I would recommend that you go ahead with the Speech assessment or at least have his name down on the list for assessment (sometimes the waiting lists can be really long)...

Hopefully an assessment will show no difficulties...but if not, you are then able to get some help whilst he is young!

Perhaps check out your local library for some books on helping parents develop speech and language in their kids...and just do stacks of shared reading with your little boy...

Good luck!

Wishing you all the best!

[christy]

My DD1 who is 5 has just been diagnosed with high functioning autism.... I WISH someone had taken my concerns seriously when she was 16 months... instead I was told again and again that I wasn't a good parent and that I was doing things wrong. It won't hurt to get the assessments done so that you have it done now. Things may change in 4 months, or they may not... its worth getting the all clear now . I spent the past two years searching for answers, and now we finally have a diagnosis, we are on an 8 month waiting list for early intervention which cuts off when she turns 6.... so we'll get a month of early intervention before the funding leaves us.

[amberj]

Thanks all.

I honestly don't know how to feel about all this now. As I said earlier, I will certainly talk to my GP about all of this and do what he recommends. I feel a bit alone, actually, my DH won't talk about it because the thought of there being anything to worry about with DS makes him too uncomfortable, and my mother thinks I am ridiculous for taking all of this any further ("there's not a thing wrong with him.....in my day we didn't worry about these things...").

Sigh. Ah well, off to make a GP appointment!

[monnie]

Hey Jessica

I know it's tough...but if there are difficulties, and you get them early...it's so much easier than waiting!

I would encourage you, even if the GP doesn't think there's a huge issue (some GP's aren't totally up-to-date with child development stuff), to at least put your son's name down on an assessment waiting list.

You can always change your mind later...but at least his name is on the list, if needed.

I'm not wanting to alarm you or worry you further but I strongly recommend playing it safe and covering your bases.

Delayed speech and language development is not always something that kids grow out of...many of them go on to have difficulties with literacy, social interaction, behaviour, etc.

Wishing you all the best!

[beckoes]

I too never took DD to see anyone, she has always been happy and healthy and i think too many times mums are told things by these people and the stress it causes is more harmfull than a a bit of delayed pointing!!! ON the other hand, if there was a problem you wouldnt want to ignore it!!
DD is 14 months and has quite a few words but a good friend of mines 23 month old had NO real words untill about a month ago when he just woke up one day a basically started talking sentences!!!! everyone was telling her all sorts of things but she knew her child was just a bit inward and luckily didnt worry about it. Now he probably talks more than other 23 months olds!
Every baby is SO different, and like you said, try to trust you insticts . hugs

[lestyrox]

Hi amberj,
Fisrtly i want to say that your DS is probably developing normally and there's nothing to worry about BUT it doesn't hurt to get all the facts and cover your bases, even if it is just for your piece of mind.

My ds is 3 and we are in the process of getting a formal diagnosis of autism, i am thinking possible asperges/high functioning autism. The last thing i want to do is scare you, i know us mum's stress about anything and everything when it comes to our precious children but if you have the slightest bit of doubt i think you should follow it up. I always thought my ds was 'different' but just thought he was a bit quirky or was just developing in his own way, now when i look back i can see all the things i missed or dismissed were part of a bigger picture. I held out talking to the MCHN until ds was over 2 and by that stage i was a wreck inside from the years of worry.
The thing that stood out to me was how you said the MCHN noticed his long attention span and lack of two and fro communication, that was exactly like my ds. he would get engrossed in an object/thing and shut off from everything else. He had amazing fine motor skills but was often in his own world..didn't want to join in with the other kids at playgroup, didn't play with all the cool toys all the kids had, he instead just wanted to open and close doors, puch buttons, play with nobs/switches etc. There was always a fog there, like he wasn't quite switched on or aware as other kids but it wasn't blaringly obvious he was different, it was just all the little things..
He waved once at 16 or 17months and then stopped and didn't wave again until he was over 2. He was late to point as well and often pointed with his whole hand. at 18months he was saying mumma, dadda and uh (up) but that was it. His first 'real' word was wower (flower) and he said that at 2yrs 2months when he and his daddy came to see me and his new brother in hospotal for the first time.

my DH won't talk about it because the thought of there being anything to worry about with DS makes him too uncomfortable

my husband was exactly the same. He found it extremely hard to except that his little boy was different so everytime i brought it up he'd become defensive so i stopped bringing it up and i felt like i had no one to talk to about it.

Again, i don't want to scare you but if you have concerns then a check with the pead can't hurt. As someone else said early intervention is so important and can have amazing results. Of course if everything ends up being fine then you have nothing to worry about, i have friends who were worried about their bub not talking/walking etc and they turned out fine. But sometimes, like was the case with my ds, it can be part of a bigger picture.

sorry for the long ramble. HTH.

[lestyrox]

I thought i'd add this website (i hope i'm allowed to? Mods feel free to take it off if not)

ASD Video Glossary: About

I wish i found this website earlier. It has a really good collection of videos of kids playing/interacting. You can observe 'nerotypical' kids doing an activity/play and then non neurotypical kids doing the same activity/play. It really helped me to see the subtle problems ds has with interaction and communication.

I hope it helps