When you had a baby- what you expected Vs Reality!
I was just thinking (as I was trying to get my screaming 12 week old DD to go down for an afternoon sleep) about whether or not things (as in being a SAHM with a baby) are what I expected or not. People seem to ask that question a lot, but I have never really thought about it properly.
When I really think about it, I think it is MOSTLY what I expected- good and bad.
BUT! Some images I had in my head about being a mother just didn't turn out quite like I had imagined! So just wondering if you had any pre conceived ideas/ expectations that were way off! Good and Bad.
EXAMPLE- When I was pregnant I somehow had this picture in my head that every afternoon my beautiful, calm and content baby, and I would snuggle down in my bed, and drift off into 'la la land' and share a beautiful afternoon sleep together. Following this, we would both awake refreshed and happy.
HARSH REALITY- Every afternoon (when I am unshowered, in pjs still and longing for just a second of sleep) my over tired, screaming, refluxy baby scratches and slaps me as we try and have a sleep together, as she cannot tolerate laying flat in my bed because of her reflux.
Don't get me wrong, it is definitely not ALL negative! I have been so pleasantly surprised when I see her do things like look around a room in search for me, then see her little face light up with a huge smile when she finally focusses on me- just amazing..or seeing her content little face in a dim lit room as I breastfeed at night, with the sound of pouring rain in the background..(how soppy i know lol)
Anyway, I would love to hear what you THOUGHT being a mum/having a baby would involve, as compared to the REALITY of it all
[QUOTE=Lee:-);876713
EXAMPLE- When I was pregnant I somehow had this picture in my head that every afternoon my beautiful, calm and content baby, and I would snuggle down in my bed, and drift off into 'la la land' and share a beautiful afternoon sleep together. Following this, we would both awake refreshed and happy.
I had thoughts that 12 weeks would be this magical marker when bubs would start sleeping thru and settling better. Reality was at that stage her day sleeps grew so much worse (has settled now) and at nearly 11 months she is still not sleeping thru!
Yep, totally with Shell, my Mum kept saying to me at 6 weeks, all babies sleep through - hello - not my baby and she, like Shell's, still hasn't slept through a night once!!
Also, didn't realise how much babies cry and how much the sound of it would drive me insane, or how exhausting mentally and physically it is being a mum OR how your time isn't your own now....
LOL But having said all that I wouldn't change it for the world!!!!
Laurin
I never thought about that, but what I do miss is sleeping in on Sundays!!! I knew it would be an all day job, never thought that it would REALLY be 24/7!!
I never thought i could love someone so much.....feel so protected and giving towards them. I really would do anything for my girls.....i never thought i would feel that way about my babies....
I honestly don't know why I thought this, because being my second baby I have NO excuse and should have known better.
But I stupidly assumed that my second child would sleep 12 hours through the night at around 10 weeks old, just the same as my first one did. After all, I parented them the same way....so why wouldn't he??
Here I am 10 months later, still waiting....dumb dumb dumb!!
I found the experience of becoming a mum first time absolutely beautiful - my best role ever. What I didn't realise is that it would take all my energy and commitment, and that other things like part-time work would need to be cast aside. I didn't imagine that I would become a PND sufferer and so that was a harsh shock; although I adored being a mum, other things in my life I feel didn't adapt to this change in my life and the pressure of it all brought about a PND problem.
I think babyhood was pretty much what i expected ie demanding, rewarding, tiring, loving etc but it's the older age groups eg being a mother of a 5 - 12 yo that I thought would be different! I guess I assumed that as soon as i could communicate with them that all would be well... I was seriously mistaken!
When I was pregnant I thought I had a fairly good idea of what to expect with a new baby, and didn't seem too worried about how hard it could be.
The reality for me was that after Aidyn was born, I felt like I went into some sort of shock for 6 months. I had no idea how dramatically having a baby would change me and my life... I had no idea how tiring it was, and how isolated and desperate I would feel at times. Although when pregnant I had thought I had *known* these things, it came nowhere close to experiencing the reality.
When I was pg, I was unaware of just how much of an emotional and instinctual pull my baby would have on me. I saw nothing wrong with setting up the cot in another room, assuming that I would need my space...
Well I was wrong about that too. After a few weeks of being a mother I was so incredibly attached to my little boy, that I wanted to have him settle in bed with me, and I couldn't bear to hear him cry, and my mothering instincts were just so strong - something that I hadn't realised I would feel so acutely...
I tried not to have any expectations, but first DD I didn't expect to lose my social life and most of my friends. None of them had children (9 years later and only a couple of them have children).
It was something that i didn't even think about. Also agree with the isolation and loneliness (and of course the tiredness etc).
You really do wonder what you did with ybefore children now don't you??
The other thing that I didn't consider was how to deal with them when they get older, you don't expect to need a psychology degree to get them to clean their room or brush their teeth, it really can be draining constantly having to "talk" them into doing things. They can have such strong personalities and when you clash on a subject, you really do learn some new skills.
but me too I wouldn't change a thing, I just love them to bits.xoxox
I didn't have a maternal bone in my body...so my family thought too. But the MOMENT Maya, my DD, arrived I was absolutely GOB SMACKED at how my instinct came in and I was breastfeeding, changing nappies, calming her etc........ all by myself. Every time someone came to visit I would harp on how amazed I was at myself....LOl......I must of sounded like a nutcase......
The other belief I had was that my baby wouldn't take over our living space, like toys everywhere and stuff. HA!!!! were we wrong! She has her own play area taking up half the lounge, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love watching her crawling around and playing with all her toys, examining them, talking to them...... by herself.
I didn't expect to feel so tired. I remember listening to other first time mums say that it was so tiring in the first few week. I thought how could it be? You could just sleep when the baby does! Ha - my baby still really only sleeps for about an hour during the day.
He is my cheeky monkey though, and has so much character, and although he doesn't sleep, he rarely cries, just gets a little grizzly sometimes.
No one ever told me they bash you!!!
Yasin headbutted me in the nose a few days ago - boy did it smart, but not as much as when Imran decided to stand up while I was talking with him in my lap and hit my chin causing me to bite down all around my tongue. I've lost count of the kicks I've copped during nappy changes and on one occasion Yasin took the term ankle biter a bit too literally and gave me a nip on my ankle.
I thought I'd have a nice tidy house like all the TV mums - sometimes I do but never for longer than nap time.
When you had a baby- what you expected Vs Reality!
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