You did great getting through this meltdown....now, for the next time something like this happens...
Babies are instinctual creatures. They do NOT manipulate or react to learned behaviour until well over 6 months, usually more like 9 or 12. They respond well to routine because it takes more than one go at anything for them to learn and having a routine (however liberal or strict it is) allows them to predict enough in some areas that they can learn in others without feeling insecure and "on guard" all the time. As long as there are some constants they can rely on (which might be "bedtime is at 7" or "booby happens at bedtime, which i decide the timing of myself" or "mummy reads when i go to bed") kids do great. This means that until your bubs is about 6-9 months NOTHING you have done has taught her to behave a certain way. Even CC, which many believe teaches a baby that crying does not attract anyone's attention (which is why they stop crying) is not recommended and does not work until a baby is MUCH older.
If, when bubs is 8 years old, every time in her whole life she's cried you've immediately given her exactly what she wants no matter what, THEN you might have made a rod for your own back (which by the way is by NO MEANS irreversible, kids are smart and can learn different behaviour much more easily than adults). But comforting your tiny baby? Holding her when she asks for you? Accepting that sometimes life is scary for a bit and only mummy will do to calm her? That is NOT making a rod, that is being a loving parent and you're really good at it so be proud
Hoobley, you have such a nack for making me feel so much better. Your post just really hit home with me this morning, thankyou.
I'm slowly getting a bit of a routine down to hopefully help her at nights. DH and I have dinner, and then, usually around 9pm as he gets home so late, I jump into a bath with Savannah. While I'm sitting here washing her, DH sits beside the bath while chatting and playing with her. We let her kick around for however long she wants, and then out we jump. The past couple of days I've been letting DH dry and dress her while I jump in for a shower myself. I'm trying to make this their special time where I am not around (so he doesn't feel self conscious or like I'm watching).
Then it's quiet time for the rest of the night and usually just feeding and bed. She won't go down right away yet, but maybe one day. At the moment we're usually getting to bed around 11pm ish, with a bad night seeing us reach 2 - 3am. Last night wasn't too bad...
And she gave me a great sleep in - 10am! And because we co-sleep (just her and I), I must be getting really good at the night feeds as I don't even really wake anymore. And she's getting great at not wanting 15 nappy changes a night and is happy to wait until the morning. Although she only waited until 6am for this one, but ooooh boy when I picked it up I could see why!
I'm now sitting here in my hug-a-bub as I type this. She's sound asleep and has been all morning. Today's a much better day.
And P.S. I just HAVE to share, this morning I put her down with DH while I went to pee and wash my hands. Came back to this:
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