Sorry, off to bed so very brief but... DH slept through it all after a week. Seemed to just register that it wasn't his prob and switched off - a real pain when I do actually need help, but an enviable skill. I left the light on in the ensuite and the door slightly ajar at first so plenty of light for attachment, nappy changes etc and made sure I knew where things were before going to bed. Fed sitting up in bed at first while bubs got the hang of it, then quickly switched to lying down feeding - so I could go back to sleep whilst feeding, and found bubs settled better this way too as could probably feel me relax.
ETA. Now we just have a little night light plugged in. Barely any light but enough to find a dummy or avoid tripping over the cot!
All my kids have been in my room/bed for months. DD3 (18 months) & DS (4) both sleep in my bed now. DS not every night, but 90% of the time. (It is different now I'm single.)
DD1 wasn't in our bed much, but the other 3 have been from very early on. With the babies right next to me, they rarely cried long enough, or loud enough to wake ex. If they did it was a really bad night & they were usually alot older. I would leave the ensuite light on, or I had a lamp for night feeds/changes.
I would give your H the option of the couch or the bed. Or get an extra single bed somewhere for him if its needed. There are sometimes circumstances, but I really don't think its fair that only one parent has to adjust to a new baby while the other continues to sleep 8 - 10 hours straight a night.
Sleep is a must for workers, especially in some industries... but us mothers can't drive a car with our children in them safely if we are sleep deprived... That is not safe.
I'd see how it goes for a few weeks, then think about weather or not changes need to be made
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