Sorry, off to bed so very brief but... DH slept through it all after a week. Seemed to just register that it wasn't his prob and switched off - a real pain when I do actually need help, but an enviable skill. I left the light on in the ensuite and the door slightly ajar at first so plenty of light for attachment, nappy changes etc and made sure I knew where things were before going to bed. Fed sitting up in bed at first while bubs got the hang of it, then quickly switched to lying down feeding - so I could go back to sleep whilst feeding, and found bubs settled better this way too as could probably feel me relax.

ETA. Now we just have a little night light plugged in. Barely any light but enough to find a dummy or avoid tripping over the cot!