Quiet time - HELP?!?!

[jemima]

Hi all

DS1 has only fairly recently stopped having his afternoon sleep (AHHHHHHH is all I can say) so I am trying to get him to have quiet time to allow me some time to myself or to do jobs etc. BTW is turned 3 in August.

DH and I have spoken to him about the need for quiet time and have said he can watch a DVD or quietly read a book and sometimes this works but quite often he wants me to be lying down next to him and sometimes this is OK but sometimes I need to be doing other things. Or he wants me to read to him and I am feeling like this is defeating the purpose of him having quiet time as I want to have some time to myself IYKWIM. (reading to him at any other time of the day is fine!) If I dont stay with him he is up and down all the time and is talking constantly (which normally of course I dont mind) and can be quite loud in a house where the other two children are generally sleeping at this time of the day.

My DH is away a LOT and when he is away it is even more important tor me being able to cope with doing everything on my own that he has this quiet time but I just dont think I have it right yet - if this makes sense.

Am I expecting too much from him for him to be able to have quiet time on his own?

I find that this is the time I am most frazzled during the day as I just need a little bit of time to chill.

ANy suggestions as to how I get him to have this quiet time?
Thanks heaps
Jem

[~kaos~]

Oh, I had this issue - a non sleeper who wasn't interested in spending the slightest amount of time on his own.

I started quiet time by putting a few new things in his room. Some CD books (so I didn't have to read to him, and it was a bit of a novelty), some nice new pics on the wall so he had a space of his own.

Still wasn't that keen, so I started with a short period of time. "I would like you to have some quiet time for 5 mins. It's not very long and when you are done you can have a jellybean. In your quiet time you could do _________ or __________ or _________". I would put a timer on so that he knew the time was defined..... Anyway, first couple of days he would whinge for the whole 5mins he was in his room, but soon kinda accepted it, and then I would start increasing the time (to 7mins, then 10, then 15).

Now, he still has a whinge when I say it is quiet time, but he accepts in, does his thing on his own for a little while and then gets his jellybean (just one, I'm so stingy )

I guess for us, it just took a bit of problem solving.... our way might not be your way, but I HTH

[jemima]

Thanks Kara

I might try him with some CDs as I think the lure of being in charge of the portable CD player in his room might be a goer for him (loves pressing buttons) and I will definiteley try him with the timer!!

As I said in my earlier post I sometimes wonder if I am asking too much of him but I NEED this time to either chill or do jobs.

Thanks again and fingers crossed we have some success.

Take care
Jem

[Charlyfrog]

I am hearing you on the need for 'you' time! DD#1 will be 3 soon and still has an arvy nap although it is touch and go these days and different each day as to whether a)she will sleep and b) if she doesn't whether she is quiet or not!

We're kinda the same as Kaos in the fact that we do a reward system and the reward tends to be whatever is 'big' in her world at the time ie a certain DVD, book, a treat or even a drink i.e. weak cordial, she knows that that's a bit special or even play time with something in particular etc. etc. Some things we let her do during her quiet time and other things are rewards for her having a quiet time. Like I said, what ever we have picked up that's important in her world, we'll go with that if we sense that quiet time might be a struggle.

I hope you maintain your time as it is so important not just for you but for your little ones as well!! Mummy needs her space! HTH xx