Resisting clothing/nappy changes

[Anna**]

Tearing my hair out here so hoping some with more wisdom can shed some light (or answers!) to this one.

My DS has been carrying on like a pork chop at every nappy change for a while now, but it is seriously getting MUCH worse lately and now he resists even having clothing put on/off. I understand that he is just too 'busy' to sit still, but he really needs clothing/nappy changes from time to time!

I've tried distracting with silly noises/faces, putting stickers on the backs of his hands to amuse him, toys, scrunchy bits of paper (or anything interesting) or even asking him nicely to 'please help mummy and stay still' . I am reluctant to give bits of food to keep him there as I personally don't like using food in this manner.

Nothing I've tried so far will keep him still nor stop him from flinging himself backwards (ouch) and then rolling away whilst screaming blue murder at each change. Total nightmare should he have a poo in his nappy.

I'm assuming this is totally normal 'almost toddler' behaviour and probably plenty go through it... but has anyone got any stories/tips/ANYTHING they can share on this? How long will this last?

[Boo Boo]

Anna, I am so with you on this, Rylee is doing exactly the same - I can't catch her to keep still for a minute - and not a good thing when there is poo involved!!! So I will see what the more experienced Mum's have to say.
Laurin

[paradise lost]

I'm not a more experienced mum, i only have one kid! LOL.

DD is like this with her dad but not with me. Why? Well, i think probably it's because i'm much stricter than him. This comes down to individual parenting style but if it's a choice between a 40-second nappy change where i have to hold her down or a 30-minute one with me following her about, tantrums, wriggling away, tears, screaming and fighting then i just hold her down.

I'm never rough with her, i've never smacked her, even on the back of the hand, but i'm very strict about some things. Just now she's at the stage of fake-crying (like the beggining-to-cry noise then nothing, no tears, noise stops) when i tell her it's time to change her nappy but she doesn't fight me off much. Whereas it's all-out world war 3 with daddy. He's well-intentioned but he gives and inch and like most toddlers, she takes a mile. I'm firm and relentless. When mummy says it's nappytime it's NAPPYTIME. LOL.

I realised, re-reading this, that i sound like an ogre, but really XP has problems 90% of the time, i only have to physically restrain her 5% if that, as she just knows now that mummy means business. I talk to her when she cries, and say things like "i know, but baby you've poopied this nappy, your bum will get sore" or i give her options that she CAN do, instead of saying "don't wriggle" i say, with a big smile and great enthusiasm, "you can lie still" or "Esme can hold the cream" or "you tell mumma this story" and hand her a book. Basically i offer 2 choices - a pleasant fast nappy change or an unpleasant fast nappychange, and the choice is hers. She very quickly decides on the former, VERY occasionally she throws a wobbly but it gets her nowhere and she soon goes back to tolerating me

It could very well be that my kid isn't as determined as yours, but i find my method works. XP thinks i'm too hard on her, but i see everyday that she's actually happier around me were the boundaries are clear and finds it confusing with XP who might laugh at something one minute and shout about it the next. I'm not suggesting you're like my XP! Just thinking aloud about the differences...

So, after all that rambling...my advice, if i can give any, is i suppose to be clear and consistent. Say "I need to change your nappy" give it a sec to sink in and then change the nappy, ignore screams and attacks, restrain (gently of course) to prevent escape and be as quick as possible. THis will result the first few times in a giant melt-down but the SECOND the nappy is changed put on a big sunny face and offer a toy/game/hug and even if bubs screamed and kicked throughout congratulate them on being REALLY GOOD during nappytime. Does any of that make sense?

Bec

[Lucy]

Anna........I am STILL pinning Charlie down....he has been making a fuss over nappy changes and dressing for 18 months now.........so I empathise, I really do.........I sing and tickle and blow raspberries at the same time as holding him down to the floor as he attempts the crocodile roll...........

Exactly the same as Bec........

I'm firm and relentless. When mummy says it's nappytime it's NAPPYTIME. LOL.

As I pin him down I sing to him "Who's the boss Charlie Boy? Mummy is. When you can go to the toilet by yourself, wipe your own sweet bottom, dress yourself and do your own washing and ironing, then you may do as you please, but in between times, Mummy is the boss!"

Makes me sound like a shocking control freak, but it is my only option thus far.........

(Lexie, bless her, at 10 months, still lies there happily with her legs in the air clapping and grinning at me........if only they were all so easy!)

GOOD LUCK!!

[Kirst11]

I had the same thing with Ardyn. I had to get strict, and nappy time wasn't a fun time anymore, it was something that needed to be done - not a choice. I never hit/smacked her, but was VERY stern and did need to pin her down at times. Yeah, yeah, I'm a mean mummy too. But you have to be sometimes.

It does get easier though. She's now at an age that I can reason with her to a certain degree, but she is only 2, and I still have to be stern at times.

My advice would be to get in and get out as quckly as possible, and show your them that you mean business and there's no other choice. This IS getting done whether you like it or not.

(Oh, but re reading what others have said, she did like it when I gave her the cream and let her squeeze it out a bit. I think that it made her feel like she was at least helping a bit.)

[Anna**]

Thanks ladies for all your advice... I had a niggling feeling that I might have to toughen up a bit in regards to this matter. I've got no problem doing this whatsoever. Of course I'll be fair - but from now on at nappy time MUMMY MEANS BUSINESS!!!!

[paradise lost]

Oh thank god! I thought i'd be getting hung by now! LOL. It really helps Anna, you'll be surprised i think. It really was like a week of fighting with Smee and then it clicked and 90% of the time now she's as good as gold.

Some things in life just aren't a choice i guess. LOL Lucy at your "when you can do it yourself" speech. I am the same - in the park at going home time either Esme walks holding mummy's hand or i carry her. She of course wants to run wild and free (but not in the direction of home, despite the pouring rain) and i can oft be heard saying to her as she dissolves into tears and falls in despair to her knees at the idea of having to hold mummy's hand, "You don't HAVE to walk Esme but you DO have to go home!". LOL.

B

[Tobily]

Same problem here. DS is getting really really bad with this lately, the only time he will sit still to have his clothes taken off is when he knows he's getting in the bath...which he loves. But any other time forget it.

I've tried it all too, to no avail. Basically now I do what the others have said - get in and get out asap, all business. It's getting done, so suck it up! :P