I'm not a more experienced mum, i only have one kid! LOL.

DD is like this with her dad but not with me. Why? Well, i think probably it's because i'm much stricter than him. This comes down to individual parenting style but if it's a choice between a 40-second nappy change where i have to hold her down or a 30-minute one with me following her about, tantrums, wriggling away, tears, screaming and fighting then i just hold her down.

I'm never rough with her, i've never smacked her, even on the back of the hand, but i'm very strict about some things. Just now she's at the stage of fake-crying (like the beggining-to-cry noise then nothing, no tears, noise stops) when i tell her it's time to change her nappy but she doesn't fight me off much. Whereas it's all-out world war 3 with daddy. He's well-intentioned but he gives and inch and like most toddlers, she takes a mile. I'm firm and relentless. When mummy says it's nappytime it's NAPPYTIME. LOL.

I realised, re-reading this, that i sound like an ogre, but really XP has problems 90% of the time, i only have to physically restrain her 5% if that, as she just knows now that mummy means business. I talk to her when she cries, and say things like "i know, but baby you've poopied this nappy, your bum will get sore" or i give her options that she CAN do, instead of saying "don't wriggle" i say, with a big smile and great enthusiasm, "you can lie still" or "Esme can hold the cream" or "you tell mumma this story" and hand her a book. Basically i offer 2 choices - a pleasant fast nappy change or an unpleasant fast nappychange, and the choice is hers. She very quickly decides on the former, VERY occasionally she throws a wobbly but it gets her nowhere and she soon goes back to tolerating me

It could very well be that my kid isn't as determined as yours, but i find my method works. XP thinks i'm too hard on her, but i see everyday that she's actually happier around me were the boundaries are clear and finds it confusing with XP who might laugh at something one minute and shout about it the next. I'm not suggesting you're like my XP! Just thinking aloud about the differences...

So, after all that rambling...my advice, if i can give any, is i suppose to be clear and consistent. Say "I need to change your nappy" give it a sec to sink in and then change the nappy, ignore screams and attacks, restrain (gently of course) to prevent escape and be as quick as possible. THis will result the first few times in a giant melt-down but the SECOND the nappy is changed put on a big sunny face and offer a toy/game/hug and even if bubs screamed and kicked throughout congratulate them on being REALLY GOOD during nappytime. Does any of that make sense?

Bec