Hi again, Mel
Good questions!
DS will likely change his patterns quite a bit in the first 2 years, so don't be too alarmed when things change - try going with the flow, which means keeping your 'routines' flexible.
Generally, I prefer to talk about routines in terms of 'cues'. This means instead of doing things by the clock, do things in a certain order. For us, DS knows it's bedtime when the lights start to go off in the house (we wind down the day), the bedside lamps go on in the bedroom etc. Our bedtime routine has changed a few times since he was born, and this is where it's at now.
Don't be afraid to have DS sleep with you - many people do this, many more than will admit to it, too!! We openly co-sleep, thoughIt means I wake feeling rested (as rested as possible, I'd sleep till midday if I could!), I get a better sleep because DS is right next to me for night feeds (some nights he'll go hours between feeds, other times he might want a feed every 3 hours, still!!). And it is just the sweetest thing I've ever done to wake up next to my angel once DP has gone off to work.
MCHN nurses are notorious for giving conflicting advice - conflicting with other nurses and conflicting with your own inclinations. So, don't let them talk to you as if they know your son better. They don't. I don't care how many degrees they have, they don't have a degree in my own child. They tend to be far more dogmatic to young mothers, too, so watch out for that.
Are you sleeping with him in your bed? Only to be done if you're not a smoker, obese or on medication (legal or otherwise) that alters your consciousness. Some kids are wriggly and people abandon this practice because of it, but I wonder if after a few wriggly nights (maybe even a couple of weeks) the babies get used to it and stop wriggling - I don't know, because DS has never been wriggly unless he's sick and he's slept with us since he was born.
As for increased feeds - if he's saying he is hungry (well, not 'saying'!), then his body knows best and he's just obeying what his body says. It's up to you whether you try to 'train' him out of that, but I am of the opinion that "who am I to argue with his body?", so I just feed, even when he feeds more often than usual, and it only tends to last a short time before he spends longer between feeds again.
Just when you think you've got a pattern established, he'll go and change it on you! This could be his body's response to environmental changes (weather, warm or cold), his activity levels, your own daily activities with him etc.
Remember that on breastmilk there is no set amount that needs to be given - his body will ask for it on a needs basis. With formula, there IS a set amount because there is only ever a set amount of nutrients in it and that's the minimum a child should be getting. Your milk will change according to his body's demands, so don't get hung up on when he stays on for longer, or if he doesn't feed for as long.
My SIL was 17 when she had her first child, 19 with her second, and 27 with her 3rd. She has had more outside help and issues with her 3rd than she ever had with her first two! She breastfed both of them for longer than 12 months and she remembers having a lot of trust in her own instincts back then, too. What I'm saying is that you have the knowledge inside of you, you just need to listen to it and trust it
ETA: sorry, I missed the bit about him being on bottles! I'll adjust what I wrote to say that he might just need his prescribed amount of formula more often because it's not enough to give it to him at set times and his body is asking for more. If you were breastfeeding, he might be having longer feeds, or just feeding more often - but it wouldn't be as much of a hassle because you wouldn't need to wake up as fully at 3am. Are you BFing at all?
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