Scared Baby

[Trillian]

Now that you've added a bit more detail to the relationship that you are in, the fact is that you are going to have to learn to be able to trust him with your child at some stage if you want this relationship to become permanent. I understand now that because your DP does not live with you full time that your little one isn't around him daily to be able to get used to the way he is kwim?

There will also come a time where you might have to leave him with your DP while you go to the shops and you have to be able to let DP look after him and that means letting him learn how to comfort him - simply snatching him away won't help that progress at all. I know at the time all you wanted to do was cuddle him, but father figures can give hugs too.

so we will be having a deep and meaningful this afternoon because he needs to realise that I am mum and if my lil man is crying he needs his mummy.

Forgive me if this is out of line but I think you also need to realise that if you want to make it work you have to give him a chance or you will risk him not wanting to be a part of Jonathon's life at all and completely distancing himself from you - trust breeds trust and that is an important part of a relationship. Think of it from his point of view, how would you feel if the roles were reversed and this was his child that you were trying to comfort and he just took the child away?

You do need to have a chat about the role he will play in your child's life but not at the expense him building a relationship - one that includes him being a comfort to your child.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I agree with Sherie that DP needs to have times when he tries to comfort your son. However, you need to know when that's not working and that it's time for you to tactfully step in (even if you need to apologise to DP later). It can be a fine line between ignoring your instinct so as not to hurt someone else's feelings, and knowing when it's ok to leave an upset baby with someone else. If you can't take it any more to just stand by and hear his crying escalate, step in. It's not worth your baby getting more upset over to save DP's feelings. He's the adult and being offended is not something your baby will understand, so baby comes first IYKWIM?
They will work each other out, don't worry