Huge hugs DD . I would also recommend stopping with the TT atm. Both my boys didn't TT until they were good and ready - both were just on 3 when they finally got it. Take that stress away from you right now, you don't need it!
Definitely go with your gut instinct about your DS, get him checked out and push the point if you don't feel listened to. Poor Kat sounds like she's uncomfortable. It could be reflux so it's worth getting her checked out too. I would highly recommend getting a paediatric chiropractor to look over her too - ours worked miracles for my babies .
Check with your MCHN to see if your local council offers an early intervention program. My previous one had one called Toddler Matters and it was a "supervised play group" that was attended by various specialists such as an occupational therapist, speech therapist etc and they would observe the kids and that could lead to further action if it were needed. We didn't qualify because it was for under 3s and mine was too old for it by the time we thought there may be issues.
It's hard when you think something might be wrong with your child. There is help out there and it could be something very minor that is holding him back
i just wanted to back up what the others have said about TT. ds2 has turned 3 and i haven't even started TT him yet. he's just not ready. give it some more time.
i think you should trust your gut instinct & if you feel you need to take some action, then do. as everyone has said, it's better to get started early.
fwiw, my DS is 2yrs 8mths & i don't think near TT at all. his cousin will be 3 next week & i saw a post on fb yesterday about 2 'puddles' that he left in ikea when they were there & to me it doesn't seem like he is totally ready either.
Hun, please dont think because he isnt 'getting' toilet training at barely 2 that there is anything wrong with him! None of my kids have trained before 3.5 - even my autistic son. Neither of my neurotypical kids are in any way slow or have a problem. They just werent ready and I refused to spend my life worrying about something so inconsequential!
As for your other concerns, can you go and see a pediatric psychologist? They would be your best avenue of figuring out whats normal and what isnt with your sons behaviour. They will usually not make any calls until the child in question is 3 though, so just be aware of that.
Oh DarekDreamer what an awful lot of anxiety and stress you have atm I cant say anything more than what these lovely ladies have said. Trust yourself, trust your gut and do what you believe is right for W. You are his Mummy and you are hard wired to know him better than anyone else. You are doing a great job, dont forget that With Kat, I put my 2 cents in else where on her
FYI my DDs are 2yrs 3mths and not TT. DD1 has done one wee on the toilet and that was this morning. Rest of the time she wees on herself (if she's ever nappy free). Kids take time to TT so try not to worry.
Thanks all. I've been reading but not responding yet cause I had a horrid night last night.
Its not just the 'not ready to TT' thats making me feel like this. TBH, I'm quite ok with him not being ready to TT (it's DH who's got a bit of a problem) but it's everything else. The not talking (only saying mumum and again), the not answering his name - ever - when we call him, the obsessiveness he has with my hair, the obsessiveness he has with the blocks, the not wanting to walk anywhere, the not using forks and spoons, the not being interested in using a cup, ther needing to eat everything off the floor, the being such a picky eater... after getting just one comment, it's all piling on me and I'm just a bit worried - well, a bit more than a little bit.
DH and I, with Kat, are thinking either reflux, silent reflux or colic. I'm doing as much research as possible and they seem the three most likely
Last edited by ElleJay; February 29th, 2012 at 11:34 AM.
With the reflux and colic - ALOT of bubs who have reflux have colic aswell as they are constantly crying which upsets their tummies creating more wind and also because of the acid. Reflux on its on just means a baby who spews, silent reflux means it doesnt come up and out of the mouth. There are bubs who have reflux which doesn't bother them (just creates alot of mess), however bubs who have acid reflux show the symptoms of being uncomfortable and in pain - crying, screaming, not sleeping, waking up frequently from sleep or not sleeping for long, screaming when put down, wanting to be held upright when awake and asleep, wanting to feed frequently as it soothes their throat at first but then the pain comes after, throwing her head back and lying/ sleeping in weird positions with neck at a weird angle. For my DD (who you know still has silent reflux at 2.5years old) she put on heaps on weight at first but then she got smarter and worked out that feeds were hurting her and then she stopped wanting to feed, was very fussy, pulling off, clenching her lil fists and feet and tensing her whole body, then she stopped putting on weight and growing in length also. She then had physio - for the low muscle tone, but also because she didn't know how to isolate her muscles as she was always tense from the pain and expectant pain. Reflux is something you want to get treatment for as soon as possible as it can create more problems. I know how stressed and sleep deprived you are at the moment and am offering my support to you as a fellow sleep deprived, stressed out mumma, wish I lived closer so I could you give you some real life support.
As for your DS, I am sorry reading the posts made you more worried, but for me, my anxiety about DD just made things worse. I really hope you can get into a good specialist/doc who will listen and respond to all of your concerns quickly. Has his daycare mentioned anything to you about his behaviour? I know he has only been going a few weeks but they can be a good starting point, maybe talk to the teacher about your concerns. Quite often they are a good starting point and can point you in the direction of early intervention services and know the right people to get things done!
My DS is going through similar as your little girl. I reckon he has reflux and am trying to get help for him now. If you get a chance, i have found the book "Colic Solved" very helpful in understanding how reflux works, and the different symptoms it can cause.
I also say don't worry about toilet training until the kids show they are ready, just too much stress for little benefit.
Sweetie, massive hugs to you. I can perfectly understand your concerns, I have mine too about my DS. He will be 2 in 2 and a bit weeks and the only words he says is mumum, bob (bob the builder) and others which don't mean anything like gaga, ba, and a couple of animal sonds and lately sheeeeeeesh. He still flaps his arms but a lot less since he started walking (mostly running) at 19m, he kicks his legs almost constantly in the high chair, stroller, car seat, it's like he's powered with a duracell battery. But he can also sit still if he is focused 100%. He used to be a fantastic eater, now hardly eats at all and has gone from liking many different foods to just 3 or 4 of his faves, like cheese, yogurt, dry bickkies & apple. He understands a lot more than he communicates to us. He only drinks from a straw cup, and refuses to use a sippy or a normal cup. Does not express interest in cutlery at all, will only eat off the food tray or floor. I still spoon feed him. His used to be obsessed with ceiling fans, now it's street lights/power poles. He was never into books, and just now will let me hurriedly read one to him before he turns the pages. He looks at pictures when I ask him where certain things are but will not point to them. He does not point to anything. He does have excellent eye contact though.
When he was around 12 months, I found he wasn't responding to his name but eventually did. Sometimes I think he responds to my tone of voice rather than his name as when someone else calls him he ignores them. He hums almost constantly when he eats. He doesn't offer cuddles or kisses unless I ask for them. He just recently started to sit on the couch when I say lets get the shoes we're going here or there. So he knows he has to sit there so I can put his shoes on. He will almost always give me a kiss when I ask for it (sometimes just tilting his head towards me) but not cuddle. But if I start cuddling him, he likes it. So a lot of things I am concerned about myself, and I have booked him in to see a developmental paed next week (I have been waiting 5 months to see him). I am a big believer in early intervention, and will do whatever is required to help him before he goes to kinder/school. GL hun, I know how awful it is to be so worried but if you seek some answers it will ease your mind. Some kids are a bit quirky but grow out of it.
DD, I don't have any advice about your DS. But you sound so upset and worried for your little boy.
DD sounds perfectly normal for a baby her age. I think it's probably that you're so anxious about DS that dealing with a new baby is that much harder. My little angel has just stopped screaming for no apparent reason for the fifth time since 6pm and fallen asleep by my side on the bed instead of being snuggled. They are unpredictable creatures, small babies!
I've got an appt with the GP for DDs 2 month needles on the 19th, so I might see if i can make it a double appt and get DS seen to as well. Our dr just loves DS and DD (already!) and will happily see him whenever.
My stresses just keep getting worse.. so bad that I have even asked my mum when she noticed things 'not right' with my brother. She asked why and I almost broke down - the stress is just beyond a joke.
I'm just glad that DH let me go out, on my own, last night for a few hours. I really needed it
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I cant say anything more than what these lovely ladies have said. Trust yourself, trust your gut and do what you believe is right for W. You are his Mummy and you are hard wired to know him better than anyone else. You are doing a great job, dont forget that 
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