Tasha, hello lovely. I've been keeping up with your updates here and have held off adding anything as all the girls here have already been so supportive with wonderful advice. However after reading your last few posts here and in your bellybuddy threads I couldn't not. I could have written what you've written word for work 18 months ago when DD was tiny. She DID NOT settle. Nights were actually better than days but she never ever self settled and it would take a MINIMUM of 20-30 mins to get her to sleep. Most of the time at least 40-60 minutes. She screamed, she cried, she passionately resisted every time. Then during the day she'd only sleep for 20-30 minutes! So an hour settling my baby for 20 minutes respite!

Some mamas here have babies that will only sleep for short stints at a time even as they get older but DD did 'improve'. But it took 6 months. And as others have suggested, I do believe it comes down to individual babies. Self settling is something some babies can do, but some can't.

I also remember clearly- very clearly! - having the same thoughts around not wanting to sit around the house feeding all day. Unfortunately, as I realised in retrospect, that's often the only way! And hey, it's actually pretty nice! If you give away the guilt of feeling like you're not doing 'enough' with your day. This is a rare time in our life that not only is it perfectly ok to sit around all day, it is necessary. Your baby is so new, so tiny still. she needs to be cuddled and held to sleep. She doesn't like this out of the womb bizzo, she needs time to adjust to her new world.

Get together your favourite DVDs, ipad, iTunes, phone or whatever. Plump up your couch or chair with a quilt, pillows, water, yummy snacks. Let bubba feed and sleep on you. And enjoy! Because this phase won't last forever and once day, when she is feeding and getting distracted by the TV, by your face, by random sounds, by pretty much everything, you will wish you could just feed her for ages and not have to move. It goes so fast.

I'm pregnant with #2 and one thing I'm doing differently this time, when bub arrives safely, is not trying to put her down to bed so soon, so quickly. Just to lie with her and hold her a bit longer. I remember in the first days in hospital, awake at 2, 3, 4, 6 am with a crying baby and I kid you not, there was only one other newborn on my ward that was also awake off and on all night. I came to recognise that baby's cries as well as my own! All the other mothers must have been blessed with sweet sleepers and I was so insanely jealous. I craved my nightly showers as that was the only time I had in the early days without a crying baby. When she'd finally, finally settled and I could hop in- I washed my hair and and showered at night for a long while.

It's so hard, this early phase. So hard I could cry remembering it myself. Be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to let go of expectations. That's the kindest and smartest thing you can do right now. Xxx