Hi Leah!!

I hear where you're coming from sweetie. I had a nightmare sleeper. He would sleep okay during the night... but from 9am through to 11pm he would sometimes stay awake the whole day/evening!!! By 6pm he would be so over-tired he would get feral and scream non-stop. We were beside ourselves as we didn't know what to do.

Around the same week (when DS was around 8 weeks old) I was given an appointment at sleep school... and A Current Affair selected me for a story on babies that don't sleep! So I got a bit of advice which I will pass onto you and hope that something helps. Just realise that this does not last forever. But the sooner you can break the habits then the sooner you can rest (or get stuff done!).

ACA put me in touch with Pinky McKay who has recently written a book about getting babies to sleep. Mind you, I was so exhausted I couldn't read a magazine article let alone a book. But Pinky came over, and she suggested I give DS a massage twice a day. This particularly helps if they have colic.

The day stay at sleep school was helpful, even though I didn't think it would be. They taught me to put DS down in his cot when he was awake. You learn their "tired signs - and put them down as soon as they appear. Don't wait for your baby to be really tired, or asleep in your arms. (tired signs like: rubbing eyes, a yawn, getting grumpy, red eyebrows, droopy eyelids, losing interest in things....)

My son didn't like to be wrapped, so they showed me how to settle him without wrapping. He had his blanket over him, and we sat beside him in the cot with our arms through the bars. Just patted him on the side of the body and said "ssshhhh, sssshhhh" constanttly. You can stroke baby's forehead, and finger down their nose or across the eyebrows to close their eyes. (you know what it's like when you're tired and your fighting to keep your eyes open... but when they're closed you just drop off). Now they baby will cry... and you have to be pretty strong and persist for a while. They don't believe in the "control crying" method... but you can't pick your baby up when she starts crying. Just stay with her, and say soothing things, and pat her body quite firmly. Only pick her up if she is quite hysterical. Then when she calms down, do the process again.

I think babies learn tricks really early on. Like "if I cry... they will pick me up". I think they also learn (with practice)... "If I am put in my bed and cry... and they don't pick me up... then I may as well go to sleep"

Other things you can do:
- play "heart beat" sounds (if your baby is young this may be comforting)
- play soothing music if baby is a bit older (specific baby sleep CDs are good for this)
- wrap your baby... particularly if she thrashes her arms about
- remove things from her bed/environment that could keep her alert/awake
- give her a bottle before going to sleep. My son has recently got into the habit of drinking a little bit when he wakes up (during the day)... then has a bit more before he goes to sleep (like a top up)... with playtime in between. During the night he wakes up, feeds, and drops off to sleep. I think he associated his bottle with sleeping.

I know people say to 'forget the housework'... but I understand that you need to do somethings. You run out of clean dishes and clothes! And you have to wash & sterilise bottles and make up formula! And partners are sometimes oblivious to what happens during the day because they turn into 'angels' when they come home from work. So they think you sit around watching TV all day!! My son usually turns feral at 6pm every night - so my hubby would think he was like that all day. Talk to your partner and show him how to sterilise bottles & make up formula. And ask him to help out for a little while with the housework. I understand he will be tired from working, and would like to have dinner etc. But as I said before - this time will not last forever - I promise!!

I love it when people would say "sleep when the baby sleeps".... and I'm like "how the hell can you do that... he sleeps for 10 minutes! And in those 10 minutes I've got to prepare his bottles!!"

Today was a great day for me with sleep. I put my son down in his cot 3 times when he was wide awake... and settled him off to sleep. I got so much done today (gardening, washing & cleaning!!). Tonight he arced up a bit... but he settled down and when DH put him in the cot he started crying. But I went in there and wrapped his blanket around him so he was snug & warm, and he went off to sleep. That was at 7pm and now (9.45) he is still sound asleep. Aaaahhhh.... bliss. I'm still waiting for him to sleep through the night. He will get up around 11pm, then around 3am, then 7am.

You can get my email address from either of my business links (below) if you want to email me for questions or I could send some information.