Yep, I did a week of sleep school in the ACT, they use a 'controlled comforting' technique which is quite different to out and out controlled crying. I was hanging on to my sanity but a very thin thread, and I had got to the point where I was occasionally hallucinating I was so sleep deprived. They took DD and cared for her in their nursery on the first night so I could sleep which by itself was a life-saver. They were very supportive and the technique was a guideline which they tweaked according to the actual family and their preferences. By the time we went home DD was settling in under half and hour and only waking 2-3 times a night, but by following their technque consistently, that was down to about 10-15 min by ten days later, and by then she was only getting up 1-2 times, and she started sleeping through on occasion shortly after that.
Sleep school is sleep training, and success seems to depend on the relative stubborness of the child versus your determination (or capacity to follow through the techniques).
I only know a few people who used sleep school (tresillian) and general reports were it is pretty traumatic and with varying results (one girl I know has 'failed' sleep school three times at almost 2).
Would you consider cosleeping with both kids? You might start getting longer stretches.
I was so sleep deprived by 8 months I weeped over anything. I tried sleep training early on, but you have to consistent and strong and tbh often the desperation for sleep would make me 'give in'. My dd is a particularly stubborn child though and we clash over many things. The moment I gave in and put her in my bed I started feeling human again and more like the mother I wanted to be.
I know sleep school sounds like a magic bullet, but ime there is no one solution to sleep issues. You need more support to help deal with your toddler and maybe sleeps in the day. That and cosleeping will get you through the next few months, but obviously it brings it's own challenges.
Hth. I am worried about the new bub being as wakeful as dd, because I really struggled there for a while.
I did Tresillian here in NSW and despite arguments from pro and against I was so exhausted I gave it a go. Yep V cried a bit yep I felt a bit bad and yep Im informed either way.... Yep she is a waaaay better sleeper and a happier baby and everyone has commented it has spilled into so many areas of her life that she is such a pleasure now and pleasures in life. This has not just stopped me going crazy but it has improved both of out quality of life. Hope this helps Id be happy to chat about our experience to you Good luck.
oh dear, that sounds like torture. I have one non sleeper and it must be so so hard to have two of them.
I went to the day program at the O'Connell centre (this is a public one, it is in camberwell or around that area) when my boy was around 10 months. To be honest I hated it and didn't find it particularly helpful. Actually it was kind of helpful because it convinced me I would just stick with co sleeping. BUT i know a couple of people who did the five day program there and they found it very helpful. For the day program you mostly just work with one staff member and the woman I had was not great, but during the longer program you would get to work with a number of people I guess and I think some of the staff are really nice and supportive (the woman I spoke to on the phone seemed like this). They say they don't use controlled crying but I think their methods probably result in a fair bit of crying, depending on your particular kids I guess.
There is a long waiting list but I think if you are desperate it might be possible to get in more quickly - when you ring they take your name and it can take a while for someone to call back but then they do a phone interview and I think if they felt that you were really struggling they would try to get you sooner.
We went through Mitcham and found it really helpful when DS was 8 mths old. From what I understand it is now a four night stay (it was 5 when I went) where you get to sleep the first 2 nights and then you settle the other two. If you need to they can let you stay longer. They use different plans depending on the age of the baby.
Depending on the age of the baby they either roomed in with you or had their own room which the nurses could watch via a tv screen what sleep behaviours they were engaging in so for example DS couldn't stay still and needed to learn how to stop to go to sleep. All the nurses were fantastic and it was wonderful having the support of someone else making suggestions of what you could try next no matter whether it was day or the middle of night. I don't feel like I was pushed into doing anything I wasn't happy with. I was concerned with leaving DS to cry as it wasn't the approach I wanted to take. I wouldn't say they use cry it out methods the way I understand cry it out to be. It was all about providing minimal intervention so the baby has a chance to learn how to go to sleep on their own. But each time you go in stepping up what you do so teaching them the skills to eventually do it on their own. A nurse will stand outside the door with you and help you decide what to do next. A range of techniques from verbal cues, music, patting, rocking, and wrapping are used. You do leave the room to give them the chance to go off to sleep on their own so there will be crying but the nurses were helpful in helping me hear the differences in cries and when to go back in vs when it sounded like they were just winding down.
I'd love to say when we left there everything was fixed but it wasn't. However we had some big improvements like getting an earlier bedtime from 10pm to 7pm, getting regular day sleeps going which meant I got some more breaks, stopping overnight feeding, getting into a good daily routine and he was a less cranky baby due to getting more sleep. It was also great to get some sleep behind me to give me the energy to continue on when we got home. I think there is also just a developmental component to sleeping as DS didn't start sleeping through regularly until 18mths. However the other gains were worth the sleep school stay. I know sleep school isn't for everyone but were really struggling as a family and this really helped us get out of the hole we were in.
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Good luck.
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