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Thread: Sleeping Problems

  1. #1

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    Default Sleeping Problems

    I am posting this on behalf of my cousin she has just joined belly belly however I haven't had a chance to show her how to use it she hasn't had all that much expeience with net forums etc. Anyway onto her little girls problem......

    From Katie.......
    I have an 8 1/2 month old that has never slept through the night, generally wakes 2-8 times per night for a dummy and reassurance, any idea what I can do?!

    I basically do controlled crying with her, I never go straight into her, I let her cry for a minimum 5 mins, never get her out of bed, I don't talk to her when I go in, other than to say "it's nigh nigh time", I have tried a night light, radio on while she sleeps, door open and closed, feng shui, checked the mattress is comfy, room temp correct, and they are just the ones this sleep deprived brain can remember




    Any advice ideats etc would be greatly appreciated

  2. #2

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    Hey Katie,

    At 8.5 months they're still really just a little baby. Perhaps your daughter still needs that reassurance and comfort from you for now. What if you went in and comforted her straight away? I know if my boy starts really crying and I leave him go it's much harder to settle him back to sleep. Sometimes all he needs is some quick reassurance that someone is there for him. I know it can be exhausting though - I spent 3 hours up last night with my nearly 9 month old and in the end I just brought him into bed with DH & I and fed him to sleep... much easier and we were all happy and got some sleep HTH.

  3. #3

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    I had the exact same thing with no 1 and at 8 months I couldn't go on, so I went to Tresillian, which is like a sleep school. Was absolutely fabulous, is there anywhere you can go that is similar? I tried everything myself too first, but found it was sooo much easier and more successful with someone there to support me.
    Good luck xo

  4. #4

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    Also meant to ask what other methods of comforting have you tried? Have you tried rocking/patting/cuddling/singing etc? I'm sure others will have more suggestions. Dinner time here - accidently posted before I'd typed everything I meant to and it's not letting me edit my post atm LOL!

  5. #5

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    thanks for your help so far ladies I will show Katie how to use belly belly on the weekend so she can write in here herself and answer any questions here is some infor that I know

    Katies daughter Mayson was born in June last year at the time Katie and her DP were in the middle of building there first home they built it owner builder to save money but obviously this took time. When Mayson was born the three of them lived with Katies parents her sister and brother. I guess Mayson got alot of attention because of this there was always someone that wanted to play if she did. They were quick at night especially to attend to her as not to wake anyone else in the house. Mayson has just never really developed a very good sleeping pattern.

    They moved into there house just before Christmas and have tried alot of things to try and improve her sleeping pattern, but she just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Mayson is formula feed now and even that doesn't help and they have tried suggested different formulas but to no avail (Mayson was BF for about ahh 4ish months never really took to it and when she started getting teeth and bitting it had to stop)

    Mayson is a very bright and alert little girl she learns very quickly picks up on things that even my nephew who is 2 wouldn't figure out. She has always been ahead of average I suppose in all that babies do i.e. rolling sitting crawling and is already nearly walking she pulls herself up wan tries to walk around.

    My theory on the whole thing is that Mayson just can't stop learning her little brain is just to active trying to get as much information every moment she can and I think she just can't stop thinking about things even when she should be sleeping, but obviously this is no help to Katie.

    Mayson doesn't just have sleeping issues at night it is through the day as well.

    Kaite lives in Tassie too not far from where I live and her clnic has run out of ideas for her and no one seems to be able to help at all. Im pretty sure that there are no "sleeping schools" in Tassie but if there is any info on those would be GREAT!

  6. #6

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    Im not sure what Tassie has to offer, but In Sydney it's called Tresillian (the sleep school). Maybe someone in tassie can help you.
    My two daughters sound VERY similar to Mayson, in that theyare SO alert and their brains are just ticking all the time. No 1 never ever slept for more than an hour and a half day or night for 8 months (extremely exhausting) but after we did get her to sleep, she slept well. She's 7 now and still so alert and on the go constantly. All I can say is it's good, it's creative, and Mayson will learn to sleep!!
    Also supernanny's approach may be worth a shot. You can sit in with her and pat her at bedtime, but each night you move further to the door. you don't talk to her at all, and if she gets up , you just put her back down. And persevere! xoxoxo

  7. #7

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    Thanks Meg I will pass that on to her, I think knowing that other people have had the same problem will help too as all of her mothers group haven't had probs at all with sleeping

  8. #8

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    Becky, do they have a good wind down before bed routine for her... a nice relaxing bath, massage, story etc?

    I think there are a couple of 'sleep schools' in Tassie... one on the east coast I think, and I know Mel and Jacob went to one & found it helpful. Not sure about any up this way though.

  9. #9

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    Might be worth a shot Angel. She lives in between us hehehe Im not sure what her routine is exactly before she goes to bed, Ill show her how to get on here on the weekend then she can give you a better idea of what she does

  10. #10
    Melinda Guest

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    Becky,

    I've PM'd you the things that we do with Jacob. They are all gentle solutions. I know how frustrating it can be when you are so sleep deprived, but I really believe that being consistent and persistant are important and setting in place a sleeping ritual is really important - it helps babies understand the cues. Also, picking up the tired signs and acting on them right away can be a bit tricky at first, but once you have worked out those cues and learn to act on them, it really does help. Over-tired babies are a lot more difficult to settle.

    As Angel said - leaving a baby to cry can sometimes make them harder to settle. We don't do CC here as we are more comfortable using other gentle solutions and Jacob responds really well to them. A little wind-down grizzle is different - but an established cry, we believe, needs action from us.

    Yes, we went to a sleep school here in Hobart. There are no other ones in Tasmania. They do not practice CC either - they were quite definite that they do not believe in that as to quote them "we believe that it teaches the baby helplessness - it teaches them that when they are distressed/upset, Mummy and Daddy won't come". They really helped DH and I understand Jacob's tired signs better (which I believe we may have been missing or misinterpreting previously) and showed us different, gentle ways of soothing and settling him and helped us set in place a little routine for each sleep time which really helped Jacob. Each baby is different in their needs - for example what works for Jacob doesn't work for others, and they were using other techniques for them, e.g soothing music, comfort toys, wrapping, unwrapping, etc. Having said that, I don't believe there are any 'magic' solutions - Jacob still has unsettled times and needs hands on patting/rocking from us or needs just our presence in his bedroom to reassure him and we are happy to do that. Sometimes we can spend an hour in there with him - but I'd rather spend an hour with him and have him develop confidence in himself and his ability to go to sleep rather than leave him to cry and feel alone IYKWIM?

  11. #11

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    Thanks Melinda you have been a great help, there is just really no help for this problem at this end of the state! No one has really been able to help her that much at all! I have forwarded your PM onto Katie so will see how she goes Im sure she will pop her head in here and say thanks herself once I show her how to.
    She is only my age too so she has limited ppl with 1st hand experience to ask other than het mothers group but none of them have had this problem!

  12. #12
    katie101 Guest

    Default Mayson

    Hello, and thank you for your help everyone

    I am Katie, Mayson's mummy. It is great to have some more suggestions because we have been put in the too hard basket at the clinic and my dr doesn't seem interested to help at all. Atleast if I am trying new things I feel I am being a bit productive.

    Melinda can I ask what the name of the sleep school is in Hobart and how I would get some more info on it. I am just starting to feel like it has gone on too long, there doesn't seem to be any end in sight at the moment. Mayson has never ever slept the night through, we have had 3 nights where she has only woken once and that was bliss!

    Any more advice would be greatly appreciated

    Katie

  13. #13
    Melinda Guest

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    Katie,

    The Mother & Baby Unit is at St Helens Private Hospital in Macquarie Street. If you ring the hospital and ask to be put through to the M&B Unit they will put you through and you should be able to speak to someone. It is a private unit, so you need to have private health insurance to cover the costs otherwise it's very expensive.

    I PM'd Becky a bit of information on what we do with Jacob - have you seen that yet? Perhaps setting in place some routine/ritual for sleep like we did might help Mayson? I know it's hard....I totally sympathise. But seriously, if you can be consistent and persistant then it really does help. It can be so hard to pick up the tired signs sometimes and like I said, we have spent 45 - 60 minutes in the room with Jacob rocking/patting etc to help him to sleep - but it has worked.

    What is it that you currently do with Mayson? Do you have any kind of routine for sleep, e.g. any rituals that you go through, any sleep message etc? Have you thought about food intake etc etc? Jacob has never been one to eat much in one sitting, so we found introducing snacks for him really helped - so he has breakfast, lunch and dinner, as well as morning and afternoon tea - so 5 mini meals. At Mayson's age he was having 4 bottles too from memory. Do you think it's possible that Mayson is hungry?

    Just tossing around ideas here......!!

  14. #14

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    Katie, there are loads of mums in your positions. Some babies just don't sleep through the night and I know it can be exhausting and frustrating at the same time.

    I know that you are just new to the forums, so welcome. Great to have you here.

    We do the same type of things as Mel with our son, he is 12 months old and he does sleep through but we still get our nights of waking.

    Can I introduce you to the forum that we have on the site - Comforted Sleeping and Sleep Issues? (just click the name and it will take you straight there). We have a whole forum dedicated to the joys of sleeping or not sleeping so give the posts a read if you can..There is a great post by Mel which gives great tips on comforting them to sleep.

    I know that you know that all bubs are different and what will work one night won't work the next. But I wish you luck and you know we are here to help you if we can.

  15. #15
    katie101 Guest

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    Hi again,

    I will definatley have a read through that forum, thanks for that.

    Mayson eats her 3 meals a day no worries and has 4 bottles, the bottles created a whole new load of problems though, she has been on normal formula, then changed to reflux at my dr's suggestion, then back to normal at my paediatricians suggestion, then after a week of throwing up and sleeping worse than ever I put her back on reflux and NOW the clinic is suggesting we try some milk sensitive formula (HA) which I have been doing for 2 weeks now and I am not sure what I think of it yet, cartainley no immediate results. Sorry to bore you with that long tale!! She does drink upwards of 250mls of water a day as well.

    As far as routine before bed, I must admit I am not nearly as strict as my friends with babies that sleep through. Mayson normally showers with me in the morning so it isn't often she has a bath before bed (when she does it doesn't seem to change her sleeping habits) so generally it is pj's, cuddle and bottle and bed. I try to read to her but most of the time she gets too wriggley and upset at being made to sit still.

    Can I just say again, thank you so much for your advice and kind words, I have a Mum's group of 8 and we are the only ones that don't get a full night sleep and all my friends children sleep through except for the odd night so it is great to feel that we are not alone.

    Katie

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