I totally agree with Mistychell
Just say what you have to say and be done with it. Like I said, it's a perfectly reasonable request and she will understand that, even if she is a bit miffed!
I posted a similar thread when pregnant with Theo.
My DH is an ex smoker and is very anti anything to do with smoking around our kids.
He figured if he had to quit smoking to hold and cuddle our kids, then ppl who smoke can either quit, or stay away! lol!

I don't think its unreasonable at all. My mum was still a smoker when i had DD, and i made her wash her hands, brush her teeth and change her shirt! haha! I was very blunt, and again, like mistychell said - they know that smoking is not a nice thing.

A MW told me once tho, that even though you wash your hands, its still in your skin, and can be 'absorbed' i guess through that way (sorry i totally forget the wording she used). And we all know smoking is a big no no in regards to SIDS. Maybe fill her in on some facts?

And as for the perfume thing - YUCK! I probably hate the perfume more so than the smoking! I HATE HATE HATE how Theo smells beautiful like a baby (lux flakes, moisturisers.. you know that smell ) And then someone who reeks of perfume gives him a cuddle! ARGH! He smells like them for the rest of the day. Cant stand it!

Good luck! And remember - your kids.. your rules!