Have you tried the Tommee Tippee Toddler Spoon and Fork? They have a funny shaped handle on them. It's meant to help with that kind of thing.

Jacob's going through a lot of the same sort of thing ATM too. And he's determined to put the spoon in his mouth upside down as he sees DH do that when he eats dessert (DH has this 'thing' about always eating certain puddings etc by turning the spoon up the other way!).

But we have found the little toddler fork and spoon to be pretty good - really easy for them to hold and he seems to be having a bit more success with that......

Just an idea anyway!