Surviving the kitchen helper

[Astrid]

After broken glasses and burnt fingers I think it is time to ask for help. DD is obsessed with helping me in the kitchen, whether it is washing up or cooking. It is driving me mad, I don't want to quash her desire to help, but am beginning to get really scared of a serious injury happening. Also sometimes I just want to get the job done, the frustration makes me want to cry.

Our previous kitchen was quite good, there was one way in and a step down and could be blocked by a gate. Also if her steps were in the lounge she could not get them into the kitchen without help. The kitchen in this house is just not child friendly, 2 ways in, one too large for the gate. The whole house is one level so she can grab her steps or a little chair and drag it to where ever she wants to be. So I am trapped to the kitchen with any cooking, I can't even turn my back on the stove to do something at the sink or bench as in that moment she will drag her steps up to the cook top and try to help. I spoke to DH about a cooktop guard and he says no, as I should be watching her, all well and good until I need to do something at the sink. Just thankful the oven it a wall one, our old oven you could touch the glass and not get burnt (great feature, but does not teach them about not touching ovens).

This afternoon she did get a slight burn on the tip of her thumb, she had to help with the scrambled eggs. I cooked them for her, took them off the heat, gave her the fork and told her to stir and not touch the saucepan, well guess what she did? No real damage, one part of me feels bad, but the other hopes it has taught her a lesson. I am so worried that next time it will be much worse.

Washing up is almost impossible, I have had to pick glass out of my feet too many times, for some reason I am the only one who treads in it. The kitchen bench gets drench in water and sometimes important paperwork in the process. Our hot water is set way to hot, I have asked DH many times to turn it down, but he still has not. It is a nasty scald waiting to happen. The previous house had a dishwasher, so I did not have to deal with this before, just help turning the dishwasher on.

How can I deal with this without tantrums and injury, before I just give up on cooking and we live on take away with paper plates.

[Rouge]

Unfortunately I can't see any real fix, other than dealing with the tantrums rather than dealing with a trip to emergency iykwim. Seth is the same, and we simply over exaggerate the impending danger and then remove him from the kitchen. He knows the only thing he is allowed to help with is mixing for baking. Paris is only now allowed to help with hot things and washing up. Have you tried giving her a bowl with flour & water and letting her mix that up whilst you do what you have to?

[Astrid]

I have sometimes let her wash up safe things, such as plastic sieves etc. I must admit at the moment I am really struggling for distraction things, don't know whether it is due to being pregnant or the fact I have to do it with so many things. When I get to the kitchen I am concerned about quantities, times, temps etc, it gets hard to suddenly add in another thing to think about.

She wanted to help clean today, so I gave her a spray bottle of water. She ended up cleaning off all my dates etc on my whiteboard calendar , must remember to move it next time.

[AnyDream]

Just an idea - could you set up a little home corner for her directly adjacent to the kitchen so she can do her own replica cooking - if you can't afford to buy a ready made set you could make one on a kids height cupboard, using cooktop elements drawn/coloured in on paper and stuck down with clear contact and handles made from cotton reels (or cheap handles from Bunnings) and old pots n pans from the Salvos, etc. Kids love to "cook" with playdough, or even some real play ingredients like raw rice, raw pasta, flour, etc. You could also give her a tub of (lukewarm) bubbly water for 'washing up' with her very own sponge etc.

That way when you want to do a 'real' cooking activity with her you can do it when you have the time and attention for it. The rest of the time she can 'cook' in her own kitchen.

[Astrid]

She does have her own kitchen, it is set up in her bedroom at the moment, in the old house it was in the living area. I could try bringing it out to the living area opposite the kitchen once the area is cleared of boxes.

I suppose one good thing has come of all this, she did scrub the sink for me and did a good job of it Time to bring out the biscuits again, she can help me with those.

[Nadine216]

I just love Marydean's idea!!!! I have not yet had the pleasure of cooking with a todler (although mine is in the kitchen with me atm, but she only throws tupperware under my feet and eat the raw potatoes)
I would maybe involve her more, but giving her a floret of cauliflower when you are cooking. And tell her to put it in the pot with a bit of water and boil (on her own stove) That way you are both doing the same thing.
Or you can let her fix up the pet's food (granted that she will not taste it) Tell her you will cook for the family and she can "cook" for the pets. Even if it's just dry food, let her "boil", "bake" and "scramble" away. Your pets won't mind, I'm sure.
Also in regards with the dishes ... I would make my water cool and let her wash the plastic things first. Then ask her to help you mop up the mess, because that is what usually happens, right. You can just pull the plug when she is done and do the rest in hot water (even re-do what she did)
Also you can ask her to sweep the kitchen while you are in there, or stack your tupperware/tined cans for you, or fold your teacloths, or clean out your pots-and-pans cubbert. Make the job sound EXTRA importend.
How about letting her set the table? Give her some paperplates (or you can even buy cheap plastic plates) and let her do that?

[Visitor7]

This sounds exactly like Nina. Everything I do in the kitchen, she insists on helping. As soon as I walk into the kitchen, she is there. It's cute, but sometimes very annoying. I've recently bought her one of the kitchen things as well, and have it set up in the kitchen, so when I'm cooking, she's cooking with her pretend food.
Nina also loves helping me clean. Whether it's cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming or mopping, she has to help.
So sorry, no advice there, but you're definitely not alone!

[Zee]

Hmm I have this problem aswell, cause of the way our open plan is I cant put a gate up so i have DD getting into everything or having a tanty cause she wants me to pick her up etc *sigh*

[Bathsheba]

I have 2 "helpers" *sigh* and even our gate isn't working because the older helper can now let in his younger apprentice. if i insist that they stay out they sneak off into another part of the house and quietly wreak havoc there

I can't offer any suggestions Astrid, only sympathy. As I type I have a lovely broken egg mess on my kitchen floor waiting to be cleaned up after my toddler got into the fridge while i wasn't looking.... fun fun fun

[christy]

I have a helper & her assistant. So I often give them a big bowl & spoons etc & little bowls with measuring cups to measure water, flour, some spices that I have in excess and let them go for it. I often have to mop the kitchen after but they keep out of my way.

Or I have them help me make playdough first and let them pretend bake with playdough before I cook something. I have baking activities they do with me first and then once their need for joining in is quelled I send them out to eat their masterpieces and can get to work myself. Its always messy but at least we get dinner done.

[kitten2b]

I have a little helper here as well, Maria really likes the cleaning side of helping so when I am washing up I put some of the suds on the cupboards, give her a sponge and get her to clean them, usually keeps her occupied for about 10 minutes at a time

[Astrid]

Thanks for the tips - have had some success with getting her to help, she helped put the veg and chicken in a pie for me the other night, that kept her happy. I think I need to gauge my mood, if I am tired and grumpy, then it is just better for me not to cook or wash up if I can avoid it. When I am like that I tend to make mistakes and not be on the "ball" enough to keep us both safe.