Oh Honey, massive Hugs from me.

I'm no expert, we are more in the frustrating "pretend not to listen to Mummy" phase

I have a book "Toddler Taming' by Dr Christopher Green that I really like, I've leant it to another Mummy, but perhaps see if you can get your hands on it, I've found it really helpful when I've needed new ideas. The name of the book puts me off a bit, but it really explains why kids do what they do, and gives practical and reasonable ideas to deal with all sorts of situations (including tanties of course)