Once DD2 really loses it she has gone beyond rationality and time out. I find at that point the only way to calm her down is go to her room, make some quiet space and sit one the floor with her in my lap and hug her really tight, stroke her her and make "shhh" sounds like I did when she was a baby. Then when she has calmed down again we can have a chat. She can really lose her $**t but doesn't have the maturity to understand why so I just need to help her through it.