Terrible bedtime tantrums

[Willow]

DD has just turned 3.

We weaned her off the dummy a few months ago, it was long overdue but every time we tried before was just too distressing for her and for me.

Until recently, she has always gone to bed without any problems and settled well.

But now almost every night (well it seems like it at the moment) she has the biggest tantrum when going to bed. She cries and cries, won't get in her bed, calls out for me, plays with her toys, turns the lights on and off.

My first thought was 'she doesn't know how to settle without her dummy' but that theory has been proven wrong by the many nights she does go to sleep without a fuss.

I am just at my wits end. I've tried taking her stuffed animals out of her room and then returning them to her when she calms down (she is very attached to them and won't sleep without them) - this sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. I've tried explaining to her that it is bed time and time for sleeping. I've tried taking her out of bed and putting her in time out. Tonight I have just let her cry because I have no idea what else to do and DH isn't here. She's been going for an hour on and off, I've been in about 4 times.

I also have a 12 week old who is still establishing his self settling etc and I just can't deal with 2 of them at once.

I just don't know what to do for my poor baby girl. I feel completely helpless, I'm out of ideas.

Does anyone have any suggestions??