So her routine of having a dummy in bed has gone...maybe she needs a new routine. ??
Brushing teeth, closing the crtains,turning on the lamp,choosing a bedtime book, getting into bed, and reading the book? - let her choose the book. Make a big deal about the storytime your both sharing just before bedtime....i dunno, it works for us. My DD whom is 4 also likes us to summarise in a sense what we did in the day too...'today we got up, had breakfast, then we went and played on the trampline whilst mummy hung the washing out"...sort of like finalising the day in a sense KWIM?
I dont think you can stop her from playing with her toys unless you move the toys out of her room...we still find DD#1 playing with her toys, i often just have to tell her once, and then she does eventually fall asleep.
When DH is on night shift and i have to put the three of them to bed on my own, i just lie Sam - 4 months old - on the bed with us...
Hope you work something out.....